Slur Keith Starmer is now determined to treat people smugglers on a par with terrorists.

Bravo.

I’m not sure whether that means he’s going to be launching missiles onto the channel dinghies or putting ISIS warlords up in taxpayer-funded, plush hotel accommodation in Kent.

Don’t expect Inaction Man to provide any clarification soon.

Amazingly, Donkey Man received an invitation to a lavish EU freebie with Yvette Blooper, the perennial first-fence-falling favourite.

I’m more astounded that customs didn’t pat down Blooper and find all the knives in her back pocket.

Still, back to the main gig, namely taking a share of asylum seekers reaching Europe in return for the EU taking back migrants who have bobbed over the channel in their dog baskets.

In other news, I guess we’ll be exporting large quantities of apples in exchange for the importation of large amounts of apples.

How do you like them apples?

Vote Labour.