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Trivaggro
Jürgen Klopp booked a bonfire and sparked his reign as German überboss with an immediate threat to split before he’d even put out the cones for his first sesh. Gott im Himmel! He’d clocked how hun hacks had remorselessly slagged Nagelsmann and Tuchel. Do I really need to say it? They’re both shite. Oh, and…
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Bin There, Done That
I can’t wait to see how well a joke candidate, with no real policies, an apparently tenuous grip on reality, and who seems more concerned with being a talking point and making a mockery of the democratic process than actually serving constituents, fares against Count Binface. Who’d have thunk it? A human being might contain…
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Off You Pop
Finally, Keir Starmer awkwardly fell on his sword, which I suppose marks a change from the pork sword of Mandelson that had done so much damage. Off you pop, Keith. No surprise that this was naturally a u-turn on earlier unequivocal commitments to fight on and was wrapped in a tissue of shameless gaslighting about…
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Platform Shoo-Ins
There’s been a push to no-platform Tommy Robinson from the Oxford Union. And USA women’s coach, Emma Hayes, has been in the populist crosshairs for her excruciating World Cup analysis. What’s the connection? Let’s speak on it. Firstly, let me be clear: Hayes is in no way an advocate for far-right politics. So, now that’s…
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FIFA Ranking
The latest edition of the FIFA World Cup is underway, and it already has the makings of a crass omnishambles. The Mexico-South Africa opener was refereed by some posturing goon, who was darting around, spaz-carding, like someone had marinated his love eggs in Chakalaka. The defender, Sithole, so christened after his parents had conceived him…
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Hell FC
A barely scraped fifth place, and some mechanical Playstation football to boot was enough to convince Liverpool bosses not to pop another shilling into the Slot machine. In doing so, they defenestrated the Dutch dud, who had laboriously removed the hubcaps from the cuckooed Kloppian climax of the previous campaign, and delivered a hearty slap…
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Dull and Duller
I don’t know whether Keir Starmer is a decent man, but he’s a manifestly turdular politician. When his premiership looked to be blowing up, genius Keith ‘didn’t have space in his diary’ to meet concerned backbenchers. There’s none as blind as those who cannot see. Sure, in recent years, we all got veneer fatigue with…
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Message Parlour
BREAKING; Slur Keir’s hanging on as he won’t ‘plunge the country into chaos’. Let. That. Sink. In. The prophetically named Sarah Sackman was wheeled out, gaslighting hard, to advise that the momentous poll spanking was the expected mid-term free-hit that all governments expect. Well, yes, if they go route one to tank their manifesto pledges.…
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Post Truth
Quite some time ago, I lamented that the UK had gone post-truth. That was amid the chaos of Boris when facts no longer seemed to matter. On social media, it’s all now started to hit new heights, or rather to plumb new depths. How so? Well, I recently commented on a Facebook article regarding a…
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Fish Stew
The money-go-round has once again ignited, with the conspicuous clown cabal kick-starting their collapsible careers and staking their grossly unqualified claims to the raft of imminent Premier League vacancies. My prediction for next season? Expect nothing and still be disappointed. It’s a murky old stew of the weirdest fish. I don’t even know where to…
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Fighting the Good Fight…
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