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Fish Stew
The money-go-round has once again ignited, with the conspicuous clown cabal kick-starting their collapsible careers and staking their grossly unqualified claims to the raft of imminent Premier League vacancies. My prediction for next season? Expect nothing and still be disappointed. It’s a murky old stew of the weirdest fish. I don’t even know where to…
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Tommy Führy
We’d not glimpsed much of Führage recently, and then the old wag rocked up in a tank with Derrick Chisora for the latter’s blowhard swingfest with Detontay Wilder. Incidentally, nominal determinist Wilder is the guy who claimed to Piers Morgan that his girlfriend got up the duff by scraping spooge off her body and ‘injecting’ herself.…
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Iran Amok
The new Supreme Leader of Iran was on fire this week. Well, that’s what GBU-57 Bunker Busters do for you. You’ve got to hand it to him, though. For a chap in a coma, he’s not taking any prisoners. Whether it’s now coma over or come-on, this so-called war has bumbled into an almighty clusterfuck. Illegal,…
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Meet the New Boss…
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, which is probably the extent of the strategy currently unravelling in Iran. Fundamentally – in keeping with the territorial vibe – Trump just grabbed that opportunity by the pussy. This was no veiled threat. You might have thought that Netanyahu would have known better,…
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Hypno Tits
When Zack Polanski hexed Hannah Spencer to run for the Gorton and Denton seat, he must have had to hypnotise up a whopping great pair of tits for her. What else would stimulate any sane person to get into political bed with the swivel-eyed loon? If you caught the hapless, mince-thick droid stumbling through her pre-penned…
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I Swear
‘Furious outcry over racial slur at the BAFTAs’. Sounds grim, but as it unravelled it got grimmer, albeit for different reasons. You couldn’t really make it up, and I swear that somewhere out in the ether, a coterie of clowns are ensconced in a circus think-tank huddle, pulling out all the stops to push the…
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The Fresh Prince of Bel Marsh
So Andrew got tugged, and this time not by some teen hoe. I wonder if the birthday party was scrapped? It was after all a crying shame to be banged up yesterday, because he missed a cracking day on social media. Oh well, more cake and Asti Spumante for the protection plod. But for those…
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Toad Away
Well, Cossack hats off for the apparent chutzpah of our Russian chums. It was apparently straight faces all round in Moscow regarding that intrepid Ecuadorian Dart Frog, who apparently laboured 6,900 miles across the globe from the Chocó rainforest to Kharp in Russia, negotiated all that supermax security in the gulag and squirted some nefarious gunk into…
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Lab Report
Barf-inducing news this week from Wales, as an inquest learnt how a drag queen had his ticket punched and ended up brown bread under a covering of flattened cardboard boxes. Stay classy. CCTV had seen the lubed-up gender-bender on something of a transmission, quelle surprise, repeatedly darting into alleys to duel with various salubrious pork…
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Hiding in Plain Shite
A new day, a new perspective. This Scandalson debacle is the gift that keeps on re-gifting. Wherever the lairy Lord lingers, a new treat awaits. Titillating to bear witness to the hyperbolic outrage from Gordon Brown – who hired him after the first two scandals – presumably after his father’s moral compass had gone skew…
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Fighting the Good Fight…
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