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Hell FC
A barely scraped fifth place and some mechanical Playstation football to boot was enough to convince Liverpool bosses not to pop another shilling into the Slot machine. In doing so, they defenestrated the Dutch dud, who had laboriously removed the hubcaps from the cuckooed Kloppian climax of the previous campaign, and delivered a hearty slap…
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Dull and Duller
I don’t know whether Keir Starmer is a decent man, but he’s a manifestly turdular politician. When his premiership looked to be blowing up, genius Keith ‘didn’t have space in his diary’ to meet concerned backbenchers. There’s none as blind as those who cannot see. Sure, in recent years, we all got veneer fatigue with…
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Message Parlour
BREAKING; Slur Keir’s hanging on as he won’t ‘plunge the country into chaos’. Let. That. Sink. In. The prophetically named Sarah Sackman was wheeled out, gaslighting hard, to advise that the momentous poll spanking was the expected mid-term free-hit that all governments expect. Well, yes, if they go route one to tank their manifesto pledges.…
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Post Truth
Quite some time ago, I lamented that the UK had gone post-truth. That was amid the chaos of Boris when facts no longer seemed to matter. On social media, it’s all now started to hit new heights, or rather to plumb new depths. How so? Well, I recently commented on a Facebook article regarding a…
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Fish Stew
The money-go-round has once again ignited, with the conspicuous clown cabal kick-starting their collapsible careers and staking their grossly unqualified claims to the raft of imminent Premier League vacancies. My prediction for next season? Expect nothing and still be disappointed. It’s a murky old stew of the weirdest fish. I don’t even know where to…
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Tommy Führy
We’d not glimpsed much of Führage recently, and then the old wag rocked up in a tank with Derrick Chisora for the latter’s blowhard swingfest with Detontay Wilder. Incidentally, nominal determinist Wilder is the guy who claimed to Piers Morgan that his girlfriend got up the duff by scraping spooge off her body and ‘injecting’ herself.…
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Iran Amok
The new Supreme Leader of Iran was on fire this week. Well, that’s what GBU-57 Bunker Busters do for you. You’ve got to hand it to him, though. For a chap in a coma, he’s not taking any prisoners. Whether it’s now coma over or come-on, this so-called war has bumbled into an almighty clusterfuck. Illegal,…
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Meet the New Boss…
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, which is probably the extent of the strategy currently unravelling in Iran. Fundamentally – in keeping with the territorial vibe – Trump just grabbed that opportunity by the pussy. This was no veiled threat. You might have thought that Netanyahu would have known better,…
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Hypno Tits
When Zack Polanski hexed Hannah Spencer to run for the Gorton and Denton seat, he must have had to hypnotise up a whopping great pair of tits for her. What else would stimulate any sane person to get into political bed with the swivel-eyed loon? If you caught the hapless, mince-thick droid stumbling through her pre-penned…
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I Swear
‘Furious outcry over racial slur at the BAFTAs’. Sounds grim, but as it unravelled it got grimmer, albeit for different reasons. You couldn’t really make it up, and I swear that somewhere out in the ether, a coterie of clowns are ensconced in a circus think-tank huddle, pulling out all the stops to push the…
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Fighting the Good Fight…
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