About Max

Charlatans, crooks, and conmen.

Businessmen and politicians, who have dispensed with facts and have overdosed us all on lies in their quest for money and power.

So-called ‘activists’, who claim to champion virtuous fightbacks and who relentlessly and who relentlessly pursue their own fake and dishonest agendas on the backs of the vulnerable.

Society is awash with these villains.

Welcome to the new normal.

Time to call them out.

Mat Gloss

I hadn’t realised that the Olympic Games was on, because it has all been somewhat low-key. Don’t worry if you too hadn’t noticed – it’s so far been excruciating but very 21st century, and that’s not just the skateboarding and BMXing. Russia has been banned, so all the Russians who haven’t been caught chewing horse […]

Ping Pong

You’d have to have a heart stone not to laugh like a drain. The Government set up a track-and-trace app, but there’s a growing concern that too many people are being pinged and are self-isolating. It’s the pingdemic. Let’s just recap: the Government put a system in place and asked the public to use it. […]

Crazy Paving

Without making any comment on the merits of Brexit, it is mesmerising that an advisory referendum reflected an inexorable path, whereas a treaty bound in international law represents a starting point for ongoing negotiation. We seem to be lacking one clear reference point to anchor our logic. It’s a double-jabbed post-fact existence that makes anything […]

Trite Said Fred

I was never a committed cheerleader of the lockdowns, but even less supportive of the fact that the decisions to enter them and then exit them have continually been based on bonkers logic. We’re now shelving 100% of restrictions after 69% of the adult population has been vaccinated. You don’t need to be a numbers […]

Penalty Points

Once again, racist abuse and the Government’s response to it have made the headlines. The three England players who botched their spot-kicks bore the brunt of racist abuse in the aftermath, and the great and good reached for their telescopes so that they might have a clearer view of the scene by peering into the […]

Jester Politics

So England never made the grade, but some sort of political row was as nailed on as Italian on-field cynicism. Seriously, though, the Azurri deserved their victory. Over and above the match itself, it was always going to be the case that a Three Lions debacle would see a fringe of racist nutters having a […]

Replica Shirks

Shell-shocked, I’ve been eating gargantuan wedges of humble pie after Gareth Southgate steered the Three Lions to their first major final in 55 years. Whatever the ultimate outcome, the team has, after a sluggish start, performed magnificently. Forget the tactical analysis, and that’s not just because, like most punters, I don’t really understand the technicalities. […]

Loose Cannons

Boris Johnson has announced the imminent removal of most COVID restrictions and asked the nation to ‘exercise its own judgement’. Given that the nation had elected him as Prime Minister, that may well be asking for trouble. All of this sparks the old Johnson-is-a-libertarian discourse into life, which once again pumps spunk into the some […]


I paid a flying visit to Bristol yesterday and encountered a sit-in in the middle of the road at the bottom of Park Street. They had a banner reading, ‘Priti Shit’, which does deserve some recognition for a new twist on an old gag, and another which read, ‘this is a peaceful protest’. This tickled […]

Badly Spun

Wow – nobody was expecting that. Labour scraped through in Batley and Spen. Dry the tears from your eyes and cash out those online bets. Kim’s going to close the loop and take her seat under the memorial plaque for her tearful maiden speech. That’s a speech by a tearful maiden, by the way. At […]


We’re approaching the home straight in Batley and Spen, and Slur Clear Stammer may well shortly be staring down the barrel of laughs of a leadership challenge. Given the shocking calibre of the Labour benches, it’s certainly not going to get out of slapstick gear, but that’s for another day. If Labour do get resoundingly […]

Pump Goes the Weasel

Thanks to the Sun, we’ve finally discovered the reason for Matt Hancock’s permasmirk. Anybody who had touted the view that door Matt was losing his grip had clearly not clocked the telefoto snap of the slippery toad up to the hilt in some covert sidechickery or, as it’s now known, Hands – Face – Back […]

Batty and Spent

The imminent by-election in Batley and Spen might prove to be a watershed for Drear Harmer’s leadershit (not a typo), if it has not indeed already hit the (silly old) buffers. In terms of candidate selection, Labour can at least be praised for not having plucked a self-serving, fake social democrat droid from the political […]


This week, Diabolic Cummings released WhatsApp messages in which Boris Johnson had denounced Matt Hancock as ‘hopeless’. For his part, Hancock had then responded to a press question of, ‘are you hopeless?’ with a, ‘I don’t think so’. He didn’t sound too convinced either way. Poor old door matt – however, the way he’s survived […]

Skimmed Bilk

I was recently taken aback by the prevalence of round-ups for charity when making electronic payments. Just last week, it happened three times in one morning on the High Street, and even sneaky old online retailers are slipping it into their payment processes. It works like this: if your purchases cost £7.84, the screen asks […]

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© Max Frances 2019-2021