Illegal migration is all the rage – or at least all the rage is illegal migration – but how many of us have twigged the bonkers political phenomenon across the mainstream parties that appears to characterise the response?

Here’s the reveal: many of the most vociferous politicians on the migration moral panic are from minority backgrounds themselves. I’m not exaggerating – Priti Patel, Suella Braverman, Zia Yusuf, and Shabana Mahmood have been among the most prominent critics of the bloated floaters.

It’s a rum old thing, if you’ll forgive the seafaring reference.

Political scientists sometimes term this reactionary representation or strategic assimilation. This is when politicians align with dominant views even when these conflict with their own communities’ interests.

It’s a weird old tension – an authenticity paradox – highlighting how minority politicians blithely opt for stances that deny or oppose the very experiences that once shaped their very own identity.

Forgetting the social science shizzle, we could just term this ‘desperate populism’.

This kamikaze communitarianism is however not just confined to the dingy dinghy dealings. Earlier this week, I saw a female medical doctor on TV, asserting with a straight face that men can have babies and ripping the presenter a new one for his exasperated position to the contrary.

This wasn’t a conflab on the gender/sex difference, which has merit, but a full-on denial of biological sex from a medically qualified woman, whose personal compass was evidently left unattended and perilously close to a tranny magnet.

Even I’m now too trans-fatigued to link ‘TV’ and ‘rip a new one’ into a humorous sentence, but I think that – even at our lowest fantasist ebb – most shemales are clearly pegged as geezers.

I suppose we are, though, fast approaching the season for Turkeys to be voting for Christmas.

Or should that now be Türkiyes voting for Christmas?