‘Furious outcry over racial slur at the BAFTAs’.

Sounds grim, but as it unravelled it got grimmer, albeit for different reasons.

You couldn’t really make it up, and I swear that somewhere out in the ether, a coterie of clowns are ensconced in a circus think-tank huddle, pulling out all the stops to push the envelope on crass stupidity.

So, here it is in summary.

A chap, John Davidson, inspired a film about living with Tourette’s, which reflected the stigma, isolation, loneliness, and bullying he has endured.

Hats off to John.

The film garnered 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, and for context, The Godfather got 97%. It’s a belter.

John rocked up to the awards ceremony that was in part celebrating the success of his film, and all was tickety-boo.

So far, so good.

He then had a phat tic attack, blurted out a cheeky ‘Niggers!’ and got manifestly flamed.

In fairness, at the point John let rip, the black geezers on stage were presenting the award for ‘Best Visual Effect’, which given their profound shellshock should have been snatched away and gifted straight to our man.

Within the context, this was absolutely following the script of inevitability, if not the plan.

The whole episode has certainly been instructive.

The rationale for the flick was obviously a peak shout because awareness of Tourettes is clearly lower than Jamie Foxx’s IQ, and I say that because the double-cross trouper responded that ‘[Davidson] meant that shit’.

The scariest thing is that you meant that shit, Foxxy.

His reasoning is probably buried somewhere in his psychiatry PhD thesis or in the script of a Stealth, his stellar contribution to film that sucked up a majestic 13% on Rotten Tomatoes.

I wonder if he meant that shit?

He wasn’t alone, and another hapless hacktor, Wendell Pierce – the recipient of a 12% RT score for the indisputably dogshit Love Ranch – jumped onto the bonkers bandwagon to bleat something similar about the xx-rated rumpus. Wendell they ever learn?

While these thick-as-turd thespians were out-foxxing themselves with their misguided outrage, the BBC, who should be awarded Olympic medals for never ever learning, were being separately and fiercely boned for some choice editing – yes, again – which has allowed them somewhat predictably to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Trump’s monster lawsuit can’t come quickly enough.

In a sane world, they should all have had a good laugh and reassured John that there was no harm done.

All fucking idiots, I swear.