Author: Max Frances
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Toad Away
Well, Cossack hats off for the apparent chutzpah of our Russian chums. It was apparently straight faces all round in Moscow regarding that intrepid Ecuadorian Dart Frog, who apparently laboured 6,900 miles across the globe from the Chocó rainforest to Kharp in Russia, negotiated all that supermax security in the gulag and squirted some nefarious gunk into…
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Lab Report
Barf-inducing news this week from Wales, as an inquest learnt how a drag queen had his ticket punched and ended up brown bread under a covering of flattened cardboard boxes. Stay classy. CCTV had seen the lubed-up gender-bender on something of a transmission, quelle surprise, repeatedly darting into alleys to duel with various salubrious pork…
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Hiding in Plain Shite
A new day, a new perspective. This Scandalson debacle is the gift that keeps on re-gifting. Wherever the lairy Lord lingers, a new treat awaits. Titillating to bear witness to the hyperbolic outrage from Gordon Brown – who hired him after the first two scandals – presumably after his father’s moral compass had gone skew…
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Dirty Deeds Done Cheap
The Epstein saga really is the grift that keeps on grifting. Or puts the jizz into Ghislaine, whatever you prefer. And old Ponce Andrew seems to have ignited a magnesium ribbon loop of self-immolation. He’d need a bus to get back to fucked. But it beats me how nobody has asked why all these mega-rich…
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Forever Green
‘Territorial integrity and sovereignty are fundamental principles of international law’. So stated Slursula von der Liar after Trump’s tariff threat over Greenland. I thought the EU had deemed sovereignty an outdated concept? How wrong we all must have been during the referendum. Lest we forget, one of the EU’s go-to strategies has long since been…
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Grok of Shit
Grok has hit the headlines, after head shitkicker Starmer decided that the creation of sexualised images of people without their knowledge or consent warranted some sort of prohibition order. Where ought we start? It’s currently difficult to get an anchor of the Labour Government’s ineptitude, but hey – let’s have a crack. We don’t now…
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The Latest Rendition
‘What can I say here? If this can be done to dictators, like that, then the [US] knows what they should do next.’ Yeah, not shell out any more dollars to your slush fund, you turd. The irony is of course that Trump has gone down to banana land just as Putin walked into the…
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Hunger Games
A couple of the Palestinian Action hunger strikers have paused their action and will now resume their starvation bonanza in the new year. The Government was apparently ‘letting them die’. What a load of tepid, limp performative gasshiteing. And when Greta slithers in, with her Tintin-book orbs and her mong placard, you know it’s gone…
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Roman Knows
I’d almost forgotten about that old wag Roman Abrahamovich. Well, he’s back in the news, this time for not coughing up £2.5b of big, frozen on the grounds of his Russian citizenship. No wonder he’s not playing ball, and good luck to him. Duplicitous government shysters had forced a Chelsea sale and then lassoed the…
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Rachel Hatred
When Chancellor Rachel Reeves first broke the manifesto promises on taxes, she said that she wouldn’t come back for more. ‘From now on, it’s on us’. And then she came back for more. Not to tax us, you understand, but to ‘ask us to contribute’. It’s that kind of snide, gaslighting that defines the liberal…
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