Tag: Customer Experience
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I Spy…
Picture the scene of abject despondency in the Kremlin. The UK Government is strongly considering regulation for the espionage industry, with spies compelled to sign a register. There’s Mr Putin jumping on that crisis telekit with Mr Xi not knowing which card to lay down next. Talk about pulling the rug out from under the…
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Just Eat
I’ve been catching up with more old contacts in the outsourcing world and all the old bounders are decidedly perky. While business owners are shedding backside bricks in their silvery wake, there are only tears of joy for many managers. Furloughed but earning to the max. Absolutely creaming it. The scams are vanilla, even wafer-thin,…
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Let’s Get (Insert Here) Done
Another day, another period of torment as a citizen of the UK. Following yet another terrorist attack committed by a released offender, the fingers are once again being pointed by people who haven’t yet realised that delayed release would only have meant a delayed attack. For a solution to the problem, I could just draw…
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One for the Road
More news from bonkers Britain, and this time guidelines regarding a possible two-alcoholic-drink limit on customers who are accompanied by children (i.e. anyone under the age of 16) have been uncovered at pub-cum-restaurant chain Wetherspoons. Sounds eminently reasonable to me but as you might expect, the backlash from toe rag customers has been vitriolic. It…
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A World of Pure Imagination
I think and talk about the declining service industry a lot. Probably too much, in fact. The public looks down their haughty noses at service providers; organisations themselves see it as a necessary evil but underfund it as a form of passive-aggressive lip-service. A way to block, frustrate and demoralise customers into giving up. In…
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Good Moaning…
We’re not really complainers, here in the UK. Now I can understand that as we are very British. Polite and nobody wants to cause a scene. We have also never really got to grips with the concept of service. For me though, it is the abject hopelessness of complaints processes that pulls my proverbial chain.…
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Chug-a-Lug Along With Me…
Chugging – or charity mugging if you’d like me to get etymological (it’s a portmanteau of “charity” and “mugger’) – is back in the ascendancy. Skanky old meth addicts (well, that’s how they seem and behave) who steal eye contact and then (a few zany dance moves later) have moonwalked into your path with a cheeky…
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Hmmm…What Does This Button Do..?
A jet being blown out of the sky by a missile. A few hundred passengers instantaneously fragmented. You probably wondered whether the recent tragedy in the skies above Iran was an accident or deliberate. Well it turns out that the act of firing was deliberate but the assessment of the situation prior to the press…
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Seeing Stars
After what feels like a lifetime of banging my head against a brick wall about charlatans who assemble careers from zilch – you know, the ones who flit from role to role, staying just long enough before they get unmasked – there are some shysters who had wholly limboed under the Frances bar of shitbag…
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The Bitterest Pill…
Running a little low on painkillers the other day for the family medicine cupboard, I thought I’d procure a few packets of ibuprofen and paracetamol. As you can buy a packet of 16 for about £0.35, a couple of quid would see the Frances household ok. So, a visit to the shop and 6 packets…
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