The power of the corona catalyst continues and has reached a new height – the resurrection of the Church of England. Well, that’s a long shot, but our hitherto anonymous purple-shirted stormtroopers have shotgunned some Blood of Christ/Korean Chablis and have stormed onto the dancefloor to throw some shapes.

They are apparently very cross indeed and have jumped onto social media to add their mites to the Cummings crucifixion collection plate. With all those unoccupied pews, the pulpit is now somewhat passé. Well, needs must as the Devil drives.

And to hear them go, you’d think that this was about Lucifer himself

So, it was a quick hop, skip, and jump onto the Evil Baldie bandwagon to snag some headlines and limelight, but it was all rather Women’s Institute.

Maybe they need to hire a special adviser?

Up to now, the current crisis had merely hammered the last nail into the coffin of their relevance. Aside from the personal volunteering of several senior clergyman (commendable), the inertia of the Church of England in this crisis has only amplified its vacuous offering. If they’d offered tangible support to others in recent months with the same enthusiasm they’ve shovelled into their attacks on Cummings, we – and they – would be in a better place.

When you see Bishops rocking up like a gang of school bullies and railing against an individual in a singularly un-Christian way, you start to see just how politicised the Church of England has now become. It’s a primary reason why congregations have largely evaporated in recent decades. With this carefully choreographed and manifestly vicious pop at strategic Svengali, these church leaders have platformed with all the other post-fact lunatics who have dogpiled without any examination of the facts. It’s been woefully unedifying. And I’d say that even if the Machiavellian shadow-spook were flagrantly guilty.

If they’re part of the mob who want governmental change, why weren’t they slaughtering the bonkers pseudo-strategy against coronavirus that has salted our fields and will end up killing our people more virally than any bug? A timely assault on the morality of economic strangulation and the unmandated removal of freedoms would have been the expected way to roll. A determined push for the primacy of right over wrong and the selfless promotion of the rights of the weak over the exploitation by the strong.

That’s Christian love and relevance. See, I’ve fixed it for you.

Instead, they were gagging to climb over each other’s barely breathing corpses to cast some fairly meaty stones.

John 8:7-11 has whistled in the wind.

They’re not simply ponying up some moralistic barbs. They’re baying for blood, for the man’s job and career. You see, this un-Christian assault inadvertently unmasks our senior clerics as a bearded clan of modernists. That’s code for non-believers who are desperate to carve out a meaningful role while still gorging on the privilege of office. Well, true believers wouldn’t disport themselves like this, would they?

As an aside, a survey in 2017 found that Church of England adherence had fallen to 15% of the population. If they’re now steering their fabulously wealthy monolith into matters political, they’d best look at Labour’s share of the vote in the last election.

32.1%. Even to double the size of their followers, and the Body of Christ would still be toast.

This latest desperate attempt to garner relevance will serve only to precipitate the crucifixion of their own organisation. And that’s what it is. It’s a struggling business that has failed to reinvent itself with the times. But in its most naked form, these C of E big cheeses are non-believers slating another person for apparent hypocrisy, all under the badge of Christian charity.

Perhaps they’d like to remind us how they had all piped up during the Prince Andrew/Epstein sex abuse scandal? I don’t recall any calls for the Duke’s head, nor any comments about the Queen’s leadership for the way all that malarkey was handled.

The Church of England’s own little world is a fantastical one where everything is reversed, even logic.

Expect that 15% to keep falling.