As if the Olympics could not get more farcical, the German pentathlon coach has been kicked out of the games for releasing some pent-up frustration and punching a horse.

This all came to pass after a rider was reduced to tears when, leading the event, the beast refused to either trot or jump. As they say, you can lead a horse to water…

Seriously, though, bopping a pony is surely not worse in terms of Olympic integrity than getting mashed on growth hormones and roid-raging to bags of gongs?

Sure, she deserved to be bombed out for being a cruel shitehawk, but the high ground seems somewhat hypocritical for Games bosses right now.

Perhaps they’ll let her back in if she coaches under the flag of the Ass-Slapping Olympic Committee.

I think the powers-that-be should decide why it was a good idea dobbin her in and not the hordes of bent Russkis, but perhaps the most appropriate resolution would be to lock the punchy coach and the reticent mount in a small room and just let them thrash it out.

As for the jockey, well, presumably she had taken no heed of the old adage that you should never work with children or animals. She was however joyously (for us) unravelling like somebody who had been harshly exposed as being wholly dependent on someone else for her medal.

And indeed, that was about the strength of it.

Whatever the naysayers will tell you, it shone a light on the fake essence of any ‘sporting’ event where an animal does all the work, and some poncy turd takes the glory.

Well, the neighsayers would certainly agree on that.

Let’s also not forget that while the humans get the medals and the glory, the horses do the jumping and occasionally cop a shattered leg and a stun bolt for their trouble.

Ultimately, it’s a crap event, and should be canned, and let’s hope that has become ever clearer to the wider public. Those magnificent gee-gees just need to be chilling out running round fields, not carrying spoilt brats to fake kudos.

For once, though, it was the human beings who were left in pain and long-faced. The horse actually looked like he was enjoying it.

Timing is everything, and that was quite the time for the nag to go nuclear. Five years of work straight down the shitter.

A small titbit of justice in a shoddy world of pointless, harmful exploitation.