While no fan of the rubber bath toy at all, his ‘I have a bream’ speech was a masterclass in hooking the usual gang of wet, flaccid Euromelts and consigning them to the Tory keepnet.

Comparing the Ukrainian resistance to the Brexiter push for freedom was a jolly jape that perfectly piqued all the posturing prigs.

Strange how few, if any, of the crackpot ‘permanently offended’ highlight the continual digs at the UK on social media by the discombobulated gaggle of psycho-federalists still smarting over our EU bailout, but that’s what partisan pea-shooting is all about.

But was the speech all that inappropriate? Putin is attempting to expand the Russian empire by military force, whereas the EU seeks to expand its empire through economic and political might. When the Ukrainians resisted, they were bombed. When the British resisted, they were sanctioned procedurally and economically.

Forced subjugation and control are the same objectives. Had the Ukrainians laid down their arms, nobody would have died, and no buildings would have been totalled. They would however have been ruled by external powers. Had the UK acquiesced to Brussels and voted to remain, nobody would have carked, but we would continued to have been subject to an outside sovereign power. As it was, we resisted and have now been punished by obstructionism.

You pay your money and take your chances.

Any analogy can be picked apart and critiqued in the detail. The bloke’s just making a general point about the struggle for freedom with his tongue pressed firmly in his cheek, and he’s irked some primadonnas. If this is out of order, it’s the metaphor that just got carpetbombed.

As for the charge that Johnson is ‘creating division’, give me strength. That has long since been established and maintained by all those FBPE headcases with their continual outbusts about the ‘concerning’ direction of UK society. These are the same loons who are preaching solidarity to the Ukraine, just as they do on every woke ramble, from the comfort of their homes, cushioned by their gargantuan bank balances. For these tosspots, ‘solidarity’ does not extend beyond virtue-signalling blather.

You won’t see any of these people liquidating their assets to send to the Ukraine.

These are same droids who stan Zelensky even though he’s the guy pushing for a no-fly zone, which would drag the US and Europe into World War III if that were the only way to inflict damage on Putin.

He’d happily drag the whole world into his petty domestic and watch the world burn.

So on this one, is it really lardarse who’s got his messaging wrong?

If you think so, bream on.