Christa Pike slithered away from a lethal injection gig in Tennessee, and the internet has dropped its guts on the delay in the dispatch of medical assistance to her.

You couldn’t make it up.

Why didn’t some canny orderly pop her another cheeky spritz, or even stoop forward with a Spiderman pillow?

In fairness to the call handler on the emergency line, could it have been anything other than a nailed-on hoax?

Well, this is 2026, so yes.

Christa’s now ‘angry and confused’.

Yes, final boss Karen wants to talk to the manager about why she’s still alive.

But why oh why did the screws actually confirm to her that she was? They could have locked her in a room, turned up the thermostat to 11, and told her it was Hell. They could definitely televise that.

Much more entertaining than some army firing squad.

For now, though, the wokerati will drive for a reprieve because the peculiarities of her DNA or the quality of the drug or its administration should of course be grounds for immediate clemency.

Let’s hope they just jabba the slut.