Category: Retail
-
Irony Deficiency
Well, it was inevitable, I suppose. Not only have we Fosbury-flopped into a rights-less chasm, but the CSE Grade III philosophy salon has been issuing guidance for the interpretation of the Government guidance and the Coronavirus Act. It’s provided the perfect platform for the nation’s professional underlings to take their lives out of first gear,…
-
Basket Cases
The power of social media: a critical care nurse makes an emotional video about empty shelves in stores. It goes coronaviral. Major stores decided that we needed to support our NHS staff, so they introduced NHS hours for staff to shop where there are replenished shelves. Of course, staff work shifts, so not everyone can…
-
Closure Ayes
If you’re panicking at the prospect of a few months of social distancing, spare a thought for your friendly neighbour burglars and junkies, who will see the window for opportunist crime closing down faster than a Rolf Harris comeback tour. They’ll probably be able to apply for Universal Credit, though, and we should endeavour to…
-
Keep Calm and Cory On
A brief stroll through the town centre yesterday, and I had to check my watch to make sure it wasn’t 1st April. At first, I thought I’d encountered a cardiologist cycling club charity ride, what with all the people pedalling about with their green surgical masks. You almost don’t know where to begin. The panic…
-
Just Checking the Smellprint
I’m getting nostalgic for Brexit. This whole corona-clown cluster is withing touching distance of peak buffoonery. Helpfully though, because anti-inflammatories suppress the immune system, we have been advised not to be taking ibuprofen. That’s a relief. Mind you, it takes a Kofi-Annan-grade negotiation just to but a few packets under normal trading conditions, so it’s…
-
Curl Up and Dye
Hair and beauty salons up and down the country have embarked on some sort of nitwit informal industrial action to ban celebrity gossip magazines in the wake of Caroline Flack’s death. I know. These chumps have the intellectual elasticity of an anvil. It’s also straight to the top of the irony class for Tracy and…
-
Let’s Get (Insert Here) Done
Another day, another period of torment as a citizen of the UK. Following yet another terrorist attack committed by a released offender, the fingers are once again being pointed by people who haven’t yet realised that delayed release would only have meant a delayed attack. For a solution to the problem, I could just draw…
-
One for the Road
More news from bonkers Britain, and this time guidelines regarding a possible two-alcoholic-drink limit on customers who are accompanied by children (i.e. anyone under the age of 16) have been uncovered at pub-cum-restaurant chain Wetherspoons. Sounds eminently reasonable to me but as you might expect, the backlash from toe rag customers has been vitriolic. It…
-
A World of Pure Imagination
I think and talk about the declining service industry a lot. Probably too much, in fact. The public looks down their haughty noses at service providers; organisations themselves see it as a necessary evil but underfund it as a form of passive-aggressive lip-service. A way to block, frustrate and demoralise customers into giving up. In…
-
Good Moaning…
We’re not really complainers, here in the UK. Now I can understand that as we are very British. Polite and nobody wants to cause a scene. We have also never really got to grips with the concept of service. For me though, it is the abject hopelessness of complaints processes that pulls my proverbial chain.…
maxfrances.com 