Category: Social Media
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Ropey Handle
Oh dear. The way things are going, some sizeable chunks of that Chinese rocket are likely to rain down on Keith’s gas guzzler. As matters stand, you could probably cut through the atmosphere at Labour HQ with a knife, let alone giant shards of Beijing tin can. And this time, there’s no convenient Corbed ball…
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Barf-tas
The actor Noel Clarke has already been subjected to trial by media and found guilty. However this plays out, his career is scuppered. John Leslie could tell you all about that, and he was never ever convicted of any crime. But you won’t see any of the allegations taken down by social media operators, in…
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Slitty-Eyed
Our incorrigible bent for synchronised fawning made it as predictable as it was painful. And so, along with innumerable brown-tongue aficionados, a facade of pitiful, performative grieving was thrust upon the traveling public by National Rail. In doing so, they scuppered the plans of those who possessed not the requisite beady-eyed dexterity to navigate the…
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Unskinny Bop
It was desperately sad to hear that former Big Brother desperado Nikki Grahame had succumbed to anorexia. Desperately sadder still was the media puff about a lack of awareness of eating disorders. Please, somebody turn that telescope around. Surely, the most pertinent concern should fall on the apparent obsession with the modern-day freak show of…
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Flip
A forensic pathologist has testified that George Floyd died from low oxygen caused by officers handcuffing him, positioning him, and placing a knee ‘on the neck specifically’. Well, thank the Lord that’s all been cleared up. I thought he’d choked on a bone in the local shit-chicken emporium. The final gift to the nation from…
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Bloody Clots
Probability is a funny only thing. We can become as despondent about our vanishing chances of winning the lottery as we might become paranoid about being afflicted by a rare illness, and both at about the same percentages. Current odds of a fatal blood clot after being spritzed with the AZ vaccine are approximately 1…
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Slacked if I Know
It was a relief that the Commission on Race and Ethnic Disparities’ report into institutional racism was published yesterday. We might otherwise have thought it to be an April Fool. In a nice touch, with its conclusion that institutional racism in the UK does not exist, they served up a prime example of precisely how…
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Cock Walking
‘One day you’re cock of the walk, the next a feather duster’ reads the strapline on Piers Morgan’s Twitter profile. More like, ‘One day you’re cock of the walk, the next a cock walking’. There, I’ve fixed it for you. Morgan’s supporters have cohered behind the #TeamPiers banner although this does seem to have attracted…
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Own Goal
Perplexingly, the world seems to have worked itself into a lather about a TV interview that could induce narcolepsy in horses. As far as I understand, Prince Harry is famous because he is the second son of the next King of England, and his wife is, well, married to him. They decided to leave the…
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If the Crap Fits…
Another day, another faux-fact gloss job. This time, it was the turn of inveterate liberal sock puppets to plunge in with a proxy hatchet job via an eye-wateringly pricy court case to gain judicial support for two out of three points about which nobody frankly gives a toss. Now, without a doubt, this Government is…
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