Tag: China
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They Don’t Half Pick Them
Grim news from the Lebanon where Beirut has been left looking like, well, Beirut. Domestically, commentators on all sides were shaken by the proclamations of Sir Iain Duncan Smith who has concluded that the EU Withdrawal Agreement – that he voted for – is in fact a juicy steamer. Even a nine-month old baby would…
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I Spy…
Picture the scene of abject despondency in the Kremlin. The UK Government is strongly considering regulation for the espionage industry, with spies compelled to sign a register. There’s Mr Putin jumping on that crisis telekit with Mr Xi not knowing which card to lay down next. Talk about pulling the rug out from under the…
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The Mask Raid
So, in a wholly unexpected development, the PM Boris Johnson has been carted off where he was subsequently inducted – not into the EU Hall of Fame – but into hospital intensive care. This has exacerbated the seemingly unabated coronapanic – we at least have to pretend that we need somebody to lead on the…
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Man Over-Bored
As I’ve mentioned already, it won’t be the virus that kills you. It will be the circus that has gone woomph around us. And there is no shortage of clowns. We do nevertheless appear to be favouring collapsing economies over collapsing cars. It’s boring me rigid now. All those asshats posting messages on LinkedIn or…
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It’s All About the Money, Honey
Every day is bringing fresh computations of hysteria and nitwittery. People used to cough to cover up a fart; now they’re farting to cover up a cough. But back to the bug and more pertinently, the government’s fiscal stimulus. It was never going generate a Joker-strength smile for everybody, but then again, the money pit…
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One Harm Banditry
Well, I would have washed my hands of it all, but there is no longer any soap or hand-sanitiser in the shops. We have well and truly lost the plot. We had initially embarked on a sensible, balanced strategy that is now being corroded by social media delirium. Everybody’s advancing their own crackpot theories based…
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Cyrus the Virus
Italy is in complete lockdown for 14 days, and Donald Trump is facing his toughest presidential fight yet. Not from the coronavirus but from boy-who-cried-wolf syndrome. After dining out for years on the battle against alleged media froth, he’s now being screwed by real fake news, if you get my drift. Well, that and the…
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Rubbing It In
Billions wiped off the stock market in the worst trading day since the 2008 financial crisis. People bashing each other up in supermarket aisles over the last packet of toilet roll. Countries placing themselves into voluntary lockdown, Where will the absurdity end? The only respite from the madness was the troll who ventured that the…
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7 Months…and Counting…
So, the impact of the coronavirus has now peaked at a hitherto unimaginable level: they’ve postponed the release of the new Bond movie by 7 months. Now it has got serious. An ironic travesty, considering that Bond – co-piloting a Moonraker shuttle – once laser-zapped and obliterated globes containing deadly nerve gas from space before…
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For the Greta Good
Greta Thunberg spoke at a 30,000-strong rally in Bristol last week, which was great for all the kids who bunked off school to attend. Not so great however for the luxuriant lawns of the city’s College Green that were churned into a e-coli-bearing mud bath to rival the Glastonbury festival. And make no mistake, they’ll…
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