Tag: Social Media
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Cosmetic Surge
It seems like every man and his dog – or rather every person with or without biological testes and their companion – is necking hormone replacement capsules or mindlessly cheerleading for those who do. The question I have is where did all these trans activists come from? The hardcore loonies have always been stumbling about…
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Barf-tas
The actor Noel Clarke has already been subjected to trial by media and found guilty. However this plays out, his career is scuppered. John Leslie could tell you all about that, and he was never ever convicted of any crime. But you won’t see any of the allegations taken down by social media operators, in…
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Slitty-Eyed
Our incorrigible bent for synchronised fawning made it as predictable as it was painful. And so, along with innumerable brown-tongue aficionados, a facade of pitiful, performative grieving was thrust upon the traveling public by National Rail. In doing so, they scuppered the plans of those who possessed not the requisite beady-eyed dexterity to navigate the…
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Unskinny Bop
It was desperately sad to hear that former Big Brother desperado Nikki Grahame had succumbed to anorexia. Desperately sadder still was the media puff about a lack of awareness of eating disorders. Please, somebody turn that telescope around. Surely, the most pertinent concern should fall on the apparent obsession with the modern-day freak show of…
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Flip
A forensic pathologist has testified that George Floyd died from low oxygen caused by officers handcuffing him, positioning him, and placing a knee ‘on the neck specifically’. Well, thank the Lord that’s all been cleared up. I thought he’d choked on a bone in the local shit-chicken emporium. The final gift to the nation from…
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Bloody Clots
Probability is a funny only thing. We can become as despondent about our vanishing chances of winning the lottery as we might become paranoid about being afflicted by a rare illness, and both at about the same percentages. Current odds of a fatal blood clot after being spritzed with the AZ vaccine are approximately 1…
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Cock Walking
‘One day you’re cock of the walk, the next a feather duster’ reads the strapline on Piers Morgan’s Twitter profile. More like, ‘One day you’re cock of the walk, the next a cock walking’. There, I’ve fixed it for you. Morgan’s supporters have cohered behind the #TeamPiers banner although this does seem to have attracted…
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Own Goal
Perplexingly, the world seems to have worked itself into a lather about a TV interview that could induce narcolepsy in horses. As far as I understand, Prince Harry is famous because he is the second son of the next King of England, and his wife is, well, married to him. They decided to leave the…
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Face the Music
Without wishing to say, ‘I told you so’, I told you so. Trump’s acquittal was not certain but was certainly overwhelmingly likely on the evidence, or lack thereof. Yet given the bonkers twists and turns of this comedic process, logic and good sense at times appeared discarded at the door. We might have thought that…
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Dodgy Motifs
Mr Jarel Robinson-Brown, a trainee man of the cloth, has landed himself in hot holy water after adding his mites to the opinion collection in the wake of Captain Tom’s earthly departure: ‘The cult of Captain Tom is a cult of White British Nationalism. I will offer prayers for the repose of his kind and…
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