Mr Jarel Robinson-Brown, a trainee man of the cloth, has landed himself in hot holy water after adding his mites to the opinion collection in the wake of Captain Tom’s earthly departure:

‘The cult of Captain Tom is a cult of White British Nationalism. I will offer prayers for the repose of his kind and generous soul, but I will not be joining the ‘National Clap’.

So, in brief, a nod to the unquestioned probity of the old boy, but criticism of the flag-shagging hysteria that had tagged along in his illustrious slipstream. Let’s not forget that at one stage, somebody had got him into a photoshoot, garbed up wearing a Union Flag cape.

Now, the Captain Tom bandwagon posse is arguably a broader church, but there is certainly a juicy cut of right-wing, jingo-bells gammon in there with all the other shameless carpetbaggers snorting up phat lines of stardust.

Yes, the Captain’s heady achievements were obviously hijacked by unscrupulous charlatans who have used the Tom motif as a mirror for some reflected glory. It’s what self-serving shysters do. Remember how so many clowns shamelessly rinsed the NHS star earlier in the year after having voted for NHS-slashing Tory governments for more than a decade?

So, the guy called out the clap as crap, and fair play to him. At this point, a sane society would either agree, disagree, or not give a toss.

It’s an opinion, a perspective.

Not in this universe, chaps. Cue a tumultuous, rabid pile-on by all the grim hangers-on of the festering, hate-filled Twitter clusterclunge, hell-bent on cancelling the bloke into oblivion just for having the temerity to have voiced an angle that had contradicted the will of the sheeple.

Regrettably, the inveterate invertebrates of the Church of England themselves fanned the flames of the furore against their own man, ironically the only clergyman in living memory who had actually made the Church feel relevant. Mr Robinson-Brown would be better off doing his apprenticeship with a more reputable employer.

In other news, some Scottish gimp has had a tartan tug for an alleged ‘offensive’ tweet about Captain Tom that, when you read it, will make you want to aggressively face-palm the closing credits of EastEnders.

It’s not particularly pleasant, but members of the public do rather prefer to see the might of the criminal justice system unleashed on, well, criminals.

Until that day comes, we remain at the mercy of those with dodgy motives following dodgy motifs.