Well, we’re heading into the final straight of electioneering, and the milieu is heating up faster than a junkie’s spoon.
Or not, as the case may be. Whomever you elect to select – or select to elect – our political world is utterly shot away.
In what has been arguably the most vacuous and debased political era for decades – possibly of all time – the weakest and calamitous Conservative leadership in living memory (and we had 2 years of IDS, remember?) will likely consolidate their star at the top of the Christmas political tree, with a certain degree of ease.
The most probable outcome of the ballot will be an increased majority, at the expense of Labour.
In terms of seats, The Liberal Democrats will probably remain just as they are.
Fun fact though – if the polls are to be trusted – is the sharp downturn in personal popularity for their leader, Jo Swindleson, for whom polls say has fallen from -12% in October, to -21% two weeks ago and currently stands at -30%.
What a time to be alive.
Boris Johnson stands at -34%, the same as two weeks ago. He remains better liked than Jeremy Corbyn at -38%, a rise of 3% from previously, with Brexit leader Nigel Farage behind him on -40%, a drop of 2%. Nigel probably loves that.
And Nicola Sturgeon remains the most popular leader. And as I will go on to say, it’s not difficult in the current climate to understand why.
Despite this though, the Fib Dems will likely maintain their number of seats in parliament, only because we still have a ‘first-past-the-post system.’
Quelle ironie. You won’t be hearing too much about proportional representation from them in the coming weeks.
Privately, Liberal Democrats up and down the country see Jo Schweinson as even worse that Corbyn in terms of being leadership material. Don’t be surprised to see a Brutus moment for her on the horizon, though the electorate might bomb her out sooner. Déjà Clegg, as they say
Boris too, has a populism, sorry, popularity issue, but he’ll likely end up with a bigger share of the seats.
You see, politics has become less about voting for what you believe in and not even about tactical voting to block what you despise.
For a country paralysed in political limbo, it is now more about seeking decisive action. And whatever you may think about Boris, the only decisive action we are likely to see will come from him.
When all is said and done, Boris by being resolute with the let’s get Brexit done message is retaining the Leave votes. Furthermore, he is also picking up supporters from those who wouldn’t normally go there but see him as the only hope in breaking the deadlock.
Mr Corbyn – and I have no doubt that he will emerge from this election as one of the leaders with the most integrity – has never really seemed comfortable with the transition from campaigning MP to Leader. He’s still on the journey of coalescence and finding the right level for the sands to settle.
He is also not picking up the Remain support, in the same way that Boris is attracting non-Tory Leavers.
You can just see the whole Leave-Remain debate staggering on under a Labour Government until implosion, a scorpion in a ring of fire.
Even if Corbyn does win, he’ll lose. Because he’ll be the sacrificed to make a Labour-led coalition acceptable to the other parties.
Though, as the late Don King would have said (while undoubtedly, ferociously waving some Union Flags on white sticks), the chances of that are slim and none.
And Slim just left town.
He might even have done us all a favour by shoeing a few of them to death on the sidewalk (as was his wont), but I digress.
At least we will be spared the gruesome spectacle of Swindleson prematurely birthing her food baby at the point that she either gets to Number 10 or gets drop-kicked.
She’s got less chance of Number 10 than the UKIP leader who didn’t know what marginals her party would be targeting (and who seemed unflustered by the fact – you can see how far we’ve fallen).
And you can chart that inevitable fruitlessness back to the promise to revoke Article 50. It’s one thing being a hard-line, mentalist Remainiac, but revocation is so politically toxic, you won’t find anyone else going near it with Boris’s bargepole.
And of course, the Fibberals take direction from the zillionaire ultra-federalist Guy Verhofstadt in Bruxelles, as underlings in the wider Renew Europe bonanza, which makes their outrage at alleged Russian Interference in the Referendum, a little rich (but not as rich as Guy, or even Jo for that matter).
Guy is of course the one EU psychocrat who cannot even utter the term UK, without sounding like a tribute act to Mr Zed from Police Academy 3.
I personally blame Farage for 20 years of relentless trolling, but all’s fair in love and war.
Bottom line is that if you’re content to get idealistically jiggy with Verhoffa and the gang, you’d better expect to see your votes evaporate like Andrea Leadsom’s goodwill to all men.
The one opportunity for the centre-left to get a second referendum and they opt for a bunch of droids who poisoned the chalice themselves. No wonder Vince Cable’s fedora brims look a tad limp these days. If Nick Clegg were here, he’d be rolling in his millions. Er, grave. If he were dead, that is.
Because this election is all about Brexit and resolve, and we could even go as far as attaching 4-year-old boys to electric buffers to shine up the hospital corridors, and it wouldn’t distract the electorate from what needs to be addressed right now.
And once that has been fixed, we can all get on with all the other stuff that nobody’s gawked at for the last 4 years. The fact that the whole country is sliding down the shitter, like a loose number two.
So, it’s Boris or, well, Boris.
Of course, you never know for sure, and you might see Sturgeon as the Kingmaker for Labour in the event of a hung parliament, but at what cost? She and Adam Price, the Plaid Leader, have arguably been the most impressive leaders of the campaign, along with – dare I say it – Mr Farage.
And why? Because they know their stuff and have welded themselves to the policies that – and I don’t mean to flabbergast you with this contemplation – they believe in.
The most alarming part about this current political contest is that it has becoming more alluring for voters to select somebody competent, than the one who has policies with which they concur.
Most likely, the tactical withdrawal of the Brexit party in the Labour marginals will get Boris over the line.
Nigel will get his Brexit, and Boris will get his crack.
At running the country that has been on pause for 4 years, and for which he has been waiting for nigh on 56.unsplash-logoElliott Stallion