That is one freefall from grace. No, not Trump’s impending evisceration at the hands of every gagging investigator on the planet, but Rudy Giuliani’s personal chute-less nosedive. After 9/11 this was the guy America embraced, and deservedly so for his leadership. Then he hitched his cart to the Trump horse, and the rest as they say is history. From Ground Zero to hero, and now to somewhere where looking up at rock-bottom zero is a pipedream.

Quite what that news conference outside the Four Seasons Total Landscaping store was about, nobody really knows. Betwixt a porno shop named ‘Fantasy Island’ and a crematorium, it had to be an in-joke of sorts. After all, Trump specifically trumpeted it on Twitter, so you would have to assume that he knew it wasn’t the Four Seasons Hotel for the presser. At least they never replaced Giuiliani with Frankie Valli.

Maybe the crem burns documents as well as bodies? One wag commented that the court cases might now go all the way to the Supreme Pizza. Giuliani was, as a public prosecutor, well known for his tough stance on lawn and order. Whatever the underlying gag, the news conference certainly did not pave the way to credibility. We may however be seeing the first steps of a Trump trash-fest as he exits the building following a scorched-earth tenure. It was certainly a world away from the gold escalator, but perhaps it will help make America rake again.

Amazing really that Rudy is still fronting for Cheeto after the Borat hotel caper. It was clearly not just Trump that got knocked out. At the very least, Donald might have offered some assistance with his small hand that might have made the weener look bigger in any pictures, but I’m not sure that the Prez is big on reciprocity.

Meanwhile in the UK, Trump is receiving bucketloads from all the socially liberal lickspittles for not accepting poll results and, shock horror, for having the temerity to allege electoral fraud. Now that reminds me or something, but I cannot think what? Oh yes, John Major has just popped up to remind us: Brexit’s very bad.

John, it’s already happened. You’ve just got to pull on those big-boy pants and move on. Just as Trump and the gang should.

And it’s the same message to you, Rudy. And keep them on. Else you’ll wind up in jail.