Month: Feb 2021
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Virgin on the Ridiculous
While a plethora of UK businesses have merrily slashed customer service and unapologetically tossed the blame onto COVID, the irony of their switch-hitting is not lost on the casual observer. Resource and volume distribution challenges are nothing new. Back in the day, contact centre providers would largely differentiate themselves through their innovative use of technology…
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Mandatory Pricks
It has been a quiet couple of days from the Government, who in surfing terms have made the drop and are amped on the crest of the vaccine wave. And who can blame them? They have sketched a roadmap out of lockdown and even managed to beat away a verified threat from Johnny Foreigner coming…
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If the Crap Fits…
Another day, another faux-fact gloss job. This time, it was the turn of inveterate liberal sock puppets to plunge in with a proxy hatchet job via an eye-wateringly pricy court case to gain judicial support for two out of three points about which nobody frankly gives a toss. Now, without a doubt, this Government is…
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Out of Sleight
Hold my beer – Lord Frost has been elevated to the Cabinet to be the new minister for the EU, and it is not immediately clear whether this is a move for political continuity with our continental chums or a burst of peak trolling. He clearly knows the brief after leading negotiations, but it oozes…
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Wrong End
Folllwing a brief break from the spotlight, Diabolic Cummings is back, this time concerning the £540k contract allegedly passed to his friends without any formal tender process. Sounds ominous. And worse still, the Cabinet Office spunked up some COVID crapola as their justification. Yet, the real battle on wasteful government procurement ought perhaps to focus…
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Face the Music
Without wishing to say, ‘I told you so’, I told you so. Trump’s acquittal was not certain but was certainly overwhelmingly likely on the evidence, or lack thereof. Yet given the bonkers twists and turns of this comedic process, logic and good sense at times appeared discarded at the door. We might have thought that…
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We Aren’t Family
I am no longer forcibly immersed in the excruciating workplace rituals of the modern office, so the occasional petal of pretentious word confetti is generally no truly onerous psychological burden. But the notion of the ‘work family‘ manifestly grinds my gears. It reeks of perverse potential. Matt Hancock just slipped in a reference to ‘our…
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Dodgy Motifs
Mr Jarel Robinson-Brown, a trainee man of the cloth, has landed himself in hot holy water after adding his mites to the opinion collection in the wake of Captain Tom’s earthly departure: ‘The cult of Captain Tom is a cult of White British Nationalism. I will offer prayers for the repose of his kind and…
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Switch-Hitters
It’s LGBT History Month in February, which affords all our cringe-inducing, professional ‘allies’ a gilt-edged opportunity to fling their sagging corpses onto the bandwagon of gay rights and suck up some of that warm spotlight. Corpses? Well, they’re dead to me. Back in the summer, they had appropriated race equality as their vehicle of choice…
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Faking Like the Clappers
What better way to whistle up a distraction than to reintroduce the dreaded ‘clap’? An opportunity to draw out all the vacant virtue-signallers who will kick-start an orgy of sneerful shaming that swells the sycophantic masses. It’s transparent and ultimately brings fatigue, but it is one that remains in the corona-charlatan toolbox. And there is…
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