Yankee Candle Randy

A woman has been attacked and has lost her life, which needs no more words in itself. A grotesque and appalling tragedy. Violence against women is a problem and needs to be tackled. But these are not revelations. How is it that one event can trigger such an outpouring now at this moment in time? Why is everybody up for a vigil, whatever that actually means. Lots of candles, crying, and Kumbaya. Well, at least they are gagging for something.

But why now? As a wise person once said: timing is everything.

No wonder Cressida Cock spurted apoplectically at the prospect of a protest that might stick up two fishy fingers at her ability to police the capital while bringing to the mind’s eye that it was allegedly a rozzer wot dunnit. Her public rating for effectiveness is marginally higher than that of a chocolate fireguard.

Having huge gatherings of people right now is as bonkers for women’s rights campaigners as it was for the BLM protests, Liverpool, and Rangers title celebrations. Unfortunately for strapped Dick, it is manifestly clear that the cops sat on their sausage-fingered hands with regard to dealing with hordes of raging yobbos but are now quite content to call in m’learned friends over some batshit bints who think they can exorcise the UK’s sex predators with a medley of Leonard Cohen songs. These soppy birds would be better off taking a course in Krav Maga and shoeing their attackers nuts into their own chest cavity.

My aversion to this pallid protest is not because there is not a serious point to be made, and I was never in favour of lockdowns and social controls. It is because once ushered in, the die was cast. Having eviscerated our economy, we simply cannot afford to have a further debilitating wave of COVID infection. That is not because we are all going to die but because the reactionary measures that follow will then kick in and will damage us further.

Have a vigil if you think that it will help, but why not spark up some lighters in your back garden or wait until the Corona fuss has died down. Then perhaps venture out for your communal sobbathon,

Whether it will work is a matter for conjecture, but I cannot see that violence will fizzle to a standstill just because a few thousand psychotic milfs will be lighting the odd Yankee candle. If it did, they would be just as well off sticking one on their window sill to ward away the pervs. Hey, it works with conkers and spiders, so why not?

As ever. it is left to the police to take the rabble to court at yet more expense to the taxpayer, only to be met by a High Court Judge who refused to make a number of rulings.

The reason it is all happening now has nothing to do with the girl who got topped. She is a convenient vehicle for a protest at precisely the point when society is at its most vulnerable. This is the re-ignition of a storm after a semblance of COVID calm is seeping through the horizon.

In seizing the opportunity now, they get a headline but only damage their cause as the majority resent the perceived irresponsibility. These issues are not going away until there is a concerted effort to dismantle systemic sexism. And at the moment, very few people really give a toss. This will all, ahem, peter out very quickly. You only have to recall the BLM farce to see how a poorly strategised, attempted cultural coup ends up setting a cause back years.

Meanwhile, crowd-funded lawyers will continue to rub their hands in glee at the prospects of their enrichment through pointless circular arguments to come. They are the true victors in this spat, as they always are.

And the protestors will end up butthurt not by the errant penis of any lustful nonce, but when they rue their own continual lame and listless floundering in effecting meaningful change.

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