It is peak irony when a candlelit vigil for the victims of male sexual violence is punctuated by chants of ‘Dick Out!’

They may well get rid of Dick, but their affront at male sexual oppression will not get soothed until they pull their aloe-veraed fingers out.

This is of course the same Dick who skipped through the remaining ranks to the top job after having fallen foul of Health and Safety laws when an innocent Brazilian was held down and shot five times in the back of the head on her watch. It would now be mesmerising if she got defenestrated after a few dopey hoes had been pinned and restrained.

At this stage, I won’t point out that the practice of shoehorning pisspoor minority candidates into roles way above their station brings only an ephemeral sense of equality. We all know to our eternal cost that we spend years picking up the pieces after those beaux gestes.

Now, that’s what I call asking for it and might be just a tad too close to home for the whinging, pre-menstrual masses this morning, who ought to be busy frantically repurposing their candles.

But back to the vadge vigil.

Protestors went out in spite of a ban to provoke a reaction by acting unlawfully, and they got nothing but a swift tug. Many refused to come quietly, which is what we should expect from shameless fakers, and they ended up in the back of a throbbing meatwagon.

End of.

We could have seen the direction of travel a few days ago when swivel-eyed, crocheting loons had pressed the busies to determine how they might lawfully protest en masse while still exercising their perceived rights to belch COVID into each other’s faces during a public health emergency.

Next up will be the UK’s burglars slapping writs on the cops to demand guidance on turning over drums with impunity. Or murderers seeking comprehensive FAQs on how not to shed trace evidence.

The answer in all these cases should jump out and hit all of us with an extendable baton at the first sniff of idiocy. Just don’t break the law. As it happens, these dippy birds chanced their arms by going ahead anyway, broke the law, and ended up taking that slap quite literally.

My heart bleeds cervically for them.

The biggest boob in this case was the police getting embroiled in a court case with people whose perception of the world is the kind of mindwarp mosh that Dr Timothy Leary was attempting to achieve for his patients in the 1960s when he was plying their Pimm’s with acid. The Old Bill should have just issued their public warning and then scooped them all up if they then failed to pay heed to it. In other words, do what actually happened but without the preceding – and now ensuing – circus.

Instead, we now have yet another convenient protest vehicle, ripe for hijacking by the fake woke hacks who will rinse it for every drop of angst that fuels and justifies their own existences.

Another hugely important social issue has thereby been obscured and belittled by a pathetic, public hissy fit, and social commentators are setting the cause back years by defending the indefensible at the expense of a focus on the core issue of misogynistic violence. If we doubt that, we can cast our minds back to how the same genre of jokers knelt on the neck of the BLM movement that is now helplessly whistling in the wind.

Move on. Nothing to see here.