As predicted, Demonic Bummings has risen from the ashes, daggers drawn, and the stream of consciousness style of his turgid blog has swiftly transformed into a focused, tight, and determined front-stabbing.

It’s almost as if he was assisted with it by a seasoned journalist well-versed in making each word count.

Who’d have thunk it?

Most mesmerising however is the fact that allegations of corruption, illegality, and incompetence are the warning shot.

Kudos though, for the absolute brass neck of the man who led on the Brexit bus, contributed majorly to the PPE procurement farce, and spunked up the Barnard Castle yarn.

It does all rather suggest that some biggies are about to be grunted through the blog balloon knot, and Johnson will likely need more than just a sturdy toilet brush to render them flushable.

This is of course a coup de twat by an oily turd slipperier than a buttered otter.

Gove is in the air, in the whisper of the tree.

And that might just be Blondie’s life raft because the one thing prized higher than a Johnson rout is the delicious prospect of a failed Gove coup. That would almost be worth sustaining a few more years of grifting albinism.

Almost.

Given the lamentable fact that Johnson tends to keep his head above water because the British public no longer minds about being lied to, he’s probably not yet dialled for Darius Guppy.

On the other hand, he might equally have secreted himself in a small bunker doing a Jean-Michel Jarre with the shredders.

You never can tell with these blaggers.

Gove is meanwhile reportedly in Israel, but it’s been so long since he was clocked, his slime trail has dried up, and the silvery flakes are whistling in the wind.

A number of other senior Tories are also lying low, as opposed to just lying.

It smells of a coup, but if overt criminality and deceit cannot rock the boat, what will?