And so the candidate debate came and went.
If you are happy to commit to any one of these woeful cretins, you’re a braver man than I. I couldn’t imagine anything more daunting. Were all heading for a bad knock in the very near future, made worse by the little trust in our politics.
Soon acting slick and polished, the candidates rocked up to impart precisely sod all of any value or merit.
I won’t bother attempting a pun on Tommy Tugger’s name, but he did appear to be played by Colin Firth for the Q&As.
As for heaping praise on him for confirming Johnson’s dishonesty, he was hardly effusive, was he? He didn’t even shake his head discernibly. The Kingsman vibe is not going to cut it, nor is the endless stream of Army bilge from an officer in the lightweight infantry.
Suella Braverman was knocked out pre-debate, but including her in the punnery anyway has at least allowed us to chalk up one contribution from her during this whole shoddy affair.
Meanwhile, Penny Mordaunt was skewered by Frosty the No-Man for being ‘invisible’ and not on top of the detail during the Brexit negotiations. Yes, that would be the Lord Frost who had hailed his negotiated deal as excellent, and who then later vigourously supported breaking it for being crap, and who then buggered off to leave them all to it. The very same.
There’s no point mentioning the others in depth. They’re the best of a rum bunch of sycophants who floated to the top of the porcelain bowl of the weakest government in living memory.
It was like watching five Keir Starmers.
At least it has suggested a degree of commitment to equality within the Party. Whether white, black, brown, man, or woman, they’re all shite.
In the absence of any meaninhful opposition, this leadership race represents a race to the bottom – for us all.
This time, though, it’s not Johnson’s bottom.