Author: Max Frances
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Clap-Trap
So, it’s a wrap. Or at least, we think it is. And as predicted, some bod – to whom the nation must surely be eternally grateful – has popped up to signal the end of the weekly clap. In fact, it’s the very person who had been credited with its initiation, so perhaps we’ll can…
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One Rule for Them…
…and another rule for us. Arguably the most divisive of discourses, and indeed it is by definition. It’s why Cummings is still wriggling to get out from under a steaming pile. Yet, one essential factor in the rule of law entitles everybody to the presumption of innocence until proven guilty. Everybody. So, did Big Dom…
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Scum Off It
There’s a lot of anger about at the moment. ‘Dominic Cummings has undermined the Government’s key messaging, and people will die’. That’s the gist of the populist line, and yes, the sublime irony is noted. How about an alternative perspective: ‘The Government has ballsed up their strategy, policy, and messaging for the coronavirus response’. I…
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Chalice in Wonderland
The power of the corona catalyst continues and has reached a new height – the resurrection of the Church of England. Well, that’s a long shot, but our hitherto anonymous purple-shirted stormtroopers have shotgunned some Blood of Christ/Korean Chablis and have stormed onto the dancefloor to throw some shapes. They are apparently very cross indeed…
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Half-Term Holidays
So, whether the seemingly indomitable Dom hangs on, it remains to be seen, but attempts to take him down have followed a now predictable path and a screaming acceleration into post-fact baloney. ‘Broken the law…’, ‘Broken the rules…’ – it’s all been swung about like an asexually person-handled Russian Olympic hammer. But let’s have a…
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Phone a Friend
Another day, another distraction. This time, the Prime Minister’s principal adviser, Dominic Cummings, has been outed for allegedly breaching lockdown rules 10 weeks ago. He denies that, and no action had been taken at the time. Meanwhile, the eloquence of lawyers who had been falling over themselves on social media to create ‘reasonable excuses’ for…
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Red Alert
Blood vessels are popping in earnest for the Premier League to restart. Players won’t even be able to pop into the local boozer for a pint, but they will be expected to sardine-pack, pull, and Jiu-Jitsu into the penalty area for corners. Sure, the mega-rich moguls of the Premier League have continued to wince at…
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Tweet to Woe
Out in the wide, beloved cybersphere, there seems to be just a slither of controversy about celebrities buying in fake social media followers. Ooh, the abject shame of it. It’s ruffled a few feather boas, I can tell you, and several fame hoggers have been on the receiving end of allegations that they’ve bought millions…
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Shoot the Massager
Clap Fascism received a long-awaited slap in the chops yesterday when somebody told a woman named Jade that, because she doesn’t go outside and clap, she should spend a day on the frontline as a nurse and find out what it’s like. Jade found their reaction quite funny when she let it be known that…
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The Red Flag
We learned today that the economy has shrunk by 2%. The Chancellor observed that the damage had been done in just a few days of bug chasing, but HMG Titanic has only just glimpsed the iceberg from the bridge. We shouldn’t get too hung up on percentages and the technical definitions of economists. What’s important…
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