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Scotched, On the Rocks
As I pour myself another Dettol on the rocks, I’m reflecting on where we go from here. To be frank, it’s a toughie given that boofing a cocktail of methamphetamine, LSD, and ketamine wouldn’t have got us to a conceptualisation of the present milieu. There’s so much mayhem in the world right now that Kim…
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Brass Tax
High-profile personalities and organisations – among them Premier League football clubs – have been slated for partaking in the furlough scheme. They can, apparently, afford to pay their own way out of the current crisis. Now, hang on a minute, let’s get down to the brass tacks. But first, a disclaimer. This isn’t about the…
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Quack!
Mr Trump has waddled off-script again. That must be exceedingly tiresome for his aides who see him trundling along, monotonously sucking up the words from the page through the gaps in his lower teeth, and then – BOOM! He pivots (usually to his right) and flings out a handful of interrogatory sludge to his hapless…
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The Second Wave
Politicians are buckling under pressure to ease the coronacrunch. Germany and Norway are releasing the squeeze, but then again, they were hardly playing by the rules. They had a cogent plan. Most of the other countries are cacking it about a second wave of infections. Well, that’s to be expected because they’re mostly flying blind.…
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Just Eat
I’ve been catching up with more old contacts in the outsourcing world and all the old bounders are decidedly perky. While business owners are shedding backside bricks in their silvery wake, there are only tears of joy for many managers. Furloughed but earning to the max. Absolutely creaming it. The scams are vanilla, even wafer-thin,…
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The Six Million Follower Man
There seems to be a new trend on Twitter with posts commencing, ‘…now I don’t normally agree with [Person X], but…’ or, ‘It hurts to say it, but I agree with [Person X]. I have even withstood the visual assault of, ‘Four words I never thought I’d hear myself say: I. Agree. With. [Person X]‘.…
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All You Need Is Gove
Let the games begin. With Boris Johnson unable to function – and recovering from coronavirus into the bargain – some ‘untimely’ leaks regarding the PM’s nonchalance, even his negligence, have emerged. It was only a matter of time before somebody started to ginger it up for Boris. And you don’t need to turn up at…
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Clap Doubt
The 8pm clap from Westminster Bridge on Thursday. Flashing blue lamps from rows of emergency vehicles and officers standing shoulder to shoulder mingling with the assembled crowds to offer their own tribute to the NHS. The Police Commissioner was leading the throbbing mass to boot. And at a stroke, we witnessed the most public flouting…
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Musical Jeers
Another day, another piece of interference from Europe. Usually, we have to endure the hollow soundbites of ‘Renew the Union’ or some such tosh syntax fabricated to lay fresh rails for the chemin de fer du gravy. This time, however, it was different. The missive came from Angela Merkel who, while not everybody’s Tasse Tee,…
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Fastest Finger First
A new mini-series about the Ingrams who finessed their way to the jackpot on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? is being screened in the UK. With an accomplice, they blagged their way to the jackpot through a series of coughs (correct answers) and nose blows (incorrect answers). It all unfolded on 9th and 10th…
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Fighting the Good Fight…
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