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Fake a Line!
Berlin, April 1945. And Hitler isn’t happy. He’s preparing for a news conference to publicise Flypaper for Freaks and Freaking Hired! and he desperately needs a line from one of the books to slot into the slide deck. But Max Frances is nowhere to be found. So, Hitler has an idea… He summons his valet…
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This Throbbing Election…
Well, we’re heading into the final straight of electioneering, and the milieu is heating up faster than a junkie’s spoon. Or not, as the case may be. Whomever you elect to select – or select to elect – our political world is utterly shot away. In what has been arguably the most vacuous and debased…
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Seeing Stars
After what feels like a lifetime of banging my head against a brick wall about charlatans who assemble careers from zilch – you know, the ones who flit from role to role, staying just long enough before they get unmasked – there are some shysters who had wholly limboed under the Frances bar of shitbag…
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Adolf Hitler – My Part in His Downfall…
Berlin, April 1945. Deep in the Führerbunker, Hitler is unhappy about the £8.99 paperback price tag on Freaking Hired! He thinks that no book price should exceed £2.99. The trouble is that the Flypaper for Freaks paperback price has already been set at £14.99. The Generals are trying to broach the subject delicately, but Adolf’s…
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Rehabilitation – Who Needs It?
It could have been prophetic to be gabbing about hypocrisy and politicians for the last week or so. Following the terrorist attack on Friday, some of our newspapers (while leaking the identity of one of the victims before the formal identification had taken place – classy) latched onto the fact that the attacker had been…
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Not Waving but Drowning
I recently stumbled back onto an old classic that genuinely perked me up. Old – well it’s now been 50 years since publication; and a classic, because even after the extended passage of time, it remains bang on the money. The Peter Principle by Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull. In it, they advance that…
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The Bitterest Pill…
Running a little low on painkillers the other day for the family medicine cupboard, I thought I’d procure a few packets of ibuprofen and paracetamol. As you can buy a packet of 16 for about £0.35, a couple of quid would see the Frances household ok. So, a visit to the shop and 6 packets…
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The Real Hypocrisy
In a week (or was that a decade?) when the UK Electorate asked themselves whether Boris Johnson could be trusted, UK politicians are under the most intense scrutiny. It is a General Election campaign after all. But hang on a minute. Surely the supreme hypocrisy in politics is for a politician to profess to be…
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Fighting the Good Fight…
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