Category: Politics
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Rubbing It In
Billions wiped off the stock market in the worst trading day since the 2008 financial crisis. People bashing each other up in supermarket aisles over the last packet of toilet roll. Countries placing themselves into voluntary lockdown, Where will the absurdity end? The only respite from the madness was the troll who ventured that the…
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McLovin It
In Paraguay, former Brazilian football megastar Ronaldinho has been arrested for entering the country on fake documents. Yes, this is one of a handful of the most recognisable people on the planet, and the said document was in his own real name. It’s stratospherically wacko. In fact, this was no border incident per se, and…
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For the Greta Good
Greta Thunberg spoke at a 30,000-strong rally in Bristol last week, which was great for all the kids who bunked off school to attend. Not so great however for the luxuriant lawns of the city’s College Green that were churned into a e-coli-bearing mud bath to rival the Glastonbury festival. And make no mistake, they’ll…
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Croc Rocking
A town in Australia was recently the scene of an unwelcome spectacle when some miscreant hoisted a Nazi Swastika flag from a tower. One resident was ‘sickened and appalled’; another, ‘offended and disgusted’. Now that got the old grey matter stirring. Ruffians pull these stunts in order to provoke a reaction, and that is exactly…
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Whistling in the Wind
A Chinese Doctor gets t-boned for speaking out about the coronavirus, and everyone is up in arms. I could understand it if he’d been dumped on for peddling powdered rhino dick, but from his perspective he was on a determined course to adhere to the Hippocratic oath. Sadly, he has shuffled off his mortal coil,…
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No Sex Please, We’re British
This week, Labour MP (and candidate for Deputy Leader) Dawn Butler stated on national TV that children are born without a biological sex. Barely reported in the press because the bonkers bar has been elevated to so high a level that pure, unadulterated biological flat-earthing is no longer man bites dog. I’m looking forward to…
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Honour Marks, Get Set…
I’ve never been one for awards and medals – I sussed out the scam while a mere lad at school. After penning a superlative account of the Ayatollah Khomeini’s return from exile in France, I was awarded a coveted gold star. Emerging triumphant and euphoric from the headmaster’s office, I encountered the class dunderhead –…
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Plane Speaking
Heathrow has become carbon neutral in emissions. Take a moment to allow that assertion to slink around the grey matter. It’s colossal. There’s a nailed-on Nobel Prize for someone, right there. There’s got to be a Physics or Chemistry element, but in all sincerity, this one is such a biggie that a new category beckons.…
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Unfurling the Freak Flypaper
Earlier this year, Boris Johnson’s chief adviser launched a recruitment campaign ‘seeking weirdos and misfits’. He’s patently never worked in the recruitment sector, because that is indeed longhand for ‘launched a recruitment campaign’. Every campaign attracts weirdos and misfits – it’s one of the rules. The modus operandi of the switched-on is that such weirdness…
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Taking the Flak
A TV presenter has taken her own life. Whatever the context, that is tragic. People are shocked and upset that a life has been cut short. Many others are pretending to be shocked and upset and demonstrate this through a cascade of sanctimonious dogpiling onto whomever they can link with the event. Some press outlets…
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