Tag: Death
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Lab Report
Barf-inducing news this week from Wales, as an inquest learnt how a drag queen had his ticket punched and ended up brown bread under a covering of flattened cardboard boxes. Stay classy. CCTV had seen the lubed-up gender-bender on something of a transmission, quelle surprise, repeatedly darting into alleys to duel with various salubrious pork…
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Tone Death
The assisted dying rigmarole has served one purpose: it facilitated an opportunity for rehabilitation for all those careerist, shitehawk MPs to demonstrate that they are sensitive to meaningful social issues rather than being obsessed with the masturbatory obsession with endless wonga. So, they diarised a five-hour debate to explore a defining moment in the nation’s…
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No Payne, No Gain
RIP Liam Payne. Not sure who he was, but if you get off on blowing out on booze and drugs and start kicking off in a South American hotel, it’s only going in one direction. The argy-bargy 10-pointer over the balcony was probably his biggest hit and had Simone Biles nodding in appreciative envy. Shame,…
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Not Yewtree Again
Now then, now then. Rolf Harris has shuffled off this mortal coil, and it is rumoured that the funeral is to be televised with the event being presented by Phillip Schofield in a new version of ‘This Mourning’. It turns out that he actually Jake the Pegged it nearly two weeks ago, and the funeral…
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DM Me, Hun
Social media is one humming cesspit at the best of times, but it seems to be de rigeur to post a picture of a recently deceased person with a message telling them to ‘fly high’, with a cringeworthy ‘with the angels’ being an optional extra. Sometimes it’s ‘fly high with the angles‘, which I guess…
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All the Sheeple
Well, it had to come sooner or later – the politicisation of mask-wearing. After all, the opposition are certainly no good at real politics. If they were even just below average, we would have seen some serious damage inflicted on the worst government in living memory. The great mask divide does not however reflect so…
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Hip Shooters
It wasn’t just that Captain Caveman geezer who’s been shooting from the hip this week. After the Plymouth pee-ow—pee-ow—pee-ow, every Facebook fruitloop crawled out from under their personal stone to have their tuppence worth. Firstly, mental health came under the microscope, but to be fair we weren’t looking at in-depth analysis here. Yes, the shooter…
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Unskinny Bop
It was desperately sad to hear that former Big Brother desperado Nikki Grahame had succumbed to anorexia. Desperately sadder still was the media puff about a lack of awareness of eating disorders. Please, somebody turn that telescope around. Surely, the most pertinent concern should fall on the apparent obsession with the modern-day freak show of…
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Cheato Jesus
In a week when Cheeto Jesus offered the first hint that he might give up the spectre of his presidency, Cheato Jesus in Argentina gave up the ghost. There will be much penned about the life and times of Diego Maradona, typically juxtaposing the genius and villain motifs. But the infamous Hand of God was…
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Collars and Cuffs
Tragic news from Croydon where a Police Custody Sergeant has been shot dead in a secure custody suite. Nothing can detract from the awful reality that a man has lost his life. Most telling, though, is the gamut of reactions on social media. Pro-police commentators have trumpeted that the Sergeant was ‘murdered’. Others are beyond…
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