Tag: NHS
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Irony Deficiency
Well, it was inevitable, I suppose. Not only have we Fosbury-flopped into a rights-less chasm, but the CSE Grade III philosophy salon has been issuing guidance for the interpretation of the Government guidance and the Coronavirus Act. It’s provided the perfect platform for the nation’s professional underlings to take their lives out of first gear,…
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Hyper Bottom Us
Get bitten by a dog, and disconcerting canine contemplation will hound your train of thought until your ticket gets punched. Work, friends, your next meal, or a new haircut – it all gets swept into oblivion as your focus narrows to a perpetual left-right, right-left, up-down, down-up scan of your immediate environment and an obsessively…
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I Am a Free Man
Now that freedom of movement has been curtailed, we’re now at the mercy not of the law but of the police who will be enforcing it. Freedom of movement has never been so popular in the UK, which must be prompting some guffaws in Brussels. Well, it would if the virus hadn’t already pulled their…
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Man Over-Bored
As I’ve mentioned already, it won’t be the virus that kills you. It will be the circus that has gone woomph around us. And there is no shortage of clowns. We do nevertheless appear to be favouring collapsing economies over collapsing cars. It’s boring me rigid now. All those asshats posting messages on LinkedIn or…
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The Coronavirus Act
HRH Prince Charles has tested positive for COVID-19 which was certainly not the coronation he’d been anticipating. He is now self-isolating – and separately from his wife who has tested negative. In marital terms, he’s slid in on his knees towards the corner flag with his shirt over his head. That’ll be 2 weeks off…
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No Need to Faucet
Harvey Weinstein has tested positive for coronavirus. So, that’s 2 weeks of isolation covered and now just 22 years and 50 weeks to straighten out. Meanwhile, the office plant is expecting twin saplings. We’re all waiting for the lockdown order in the UK which I guess means that people can venture out only for groceries…
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Basket Cases
The power of social media: a critical care nurse makes an emotional video about empty shelves in stores. It goes coronaviral. Major stores decided that we needed to support our NHS staff, so they introduced NHS hours for staff to shop where there are replenished shelves. Of course, staff work shifts, so not everyone can…
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Keep Calm and Cory On
A brief stroll through the town centre yesterday, and I had to check my watch to make sure it wasn’t 1st April. At first, I thought I’d encountered a cardiologist cycling club charity ride, what with all the people pedalling about with their green surgical masks. You almost don’t know where to begin. The panic…
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Just Checking the Smellprint
I’m getting nostalgic for Brexit. This whole corona-clown cluster is withing touching distance of peak buffoonery. Helpfully though, because anti-inflammatories suppress the immune system, we have been advised not to be taking ibuprofen. That’s a relief. Mind you, it takes a Kofi-Annan-grade negotiation just to but a few packets under normal trading conditions, so it’s…
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One Harm Banditry
Well, I would have washed my hands of it all, but there is no longer any soap or hand-sanitiser in the shops. We have well and truly lost the plot. We had initially embarked on a sensible, balanced strategy that is now being corroded by social media delirium. Everybody’s advancing their own crackpot theories based…
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