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D’You Wanna Be In My Gang?
You can throw glitter on a turd, but it’s still a turd. After something sparkly finally stuck to Keir Starmer yesterday, the nihilist knight remarked that the protester ‘didn’t know him’. That was evident from the fact that glitter had been launched, not acid. It’s not yet known whether the assailant will be charged with…
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Rap Shite
It’s a funny old world, isn’t it? This week, some police chief blubbed through a news conference in tears, announcing that a bloke had been charged with Tupac Shakur’s murder. This was the same Tupac who glorified in cop killings just as much as cops in the US have always got off on popping caps…
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Them Apples
Slur Keith Starmer is now determined to treat people smugglers on a par with terrorists. Bravo. I’m not sure whether that means he’s going to be launching missiles onto the channel dinghies or putting ISIS warlords up in taxpayer-funded, plush hotel accommodation in Kent. Don’t expect Inaction Man to provide any clarification soon. Amazingly, Donkey…
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Flakermaker
Following their ‘world cup’ victory, triumphant Spaniolo player Jenni Hermoso hugged her FA President Luis Rubiales, lifted him legs akimbo aloft while the hapless prez reciprocally offered a lips-on kiss to the hopeless lez. Big deal. Apparently, a veritable shitstorm has now engulfed women’s football as he hadn’t filed a notarised consent document prior to…
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Beyond Parody
They think it’s all over – it is now. England’s women’s ‘football’ players have been traumatised by their first dicking. Sorry, their first dicking in a ‘world cup’ final. I never actually tuned into the farce itself – I’d had one of those moments during the night when I had awoken and wondered whether the…
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Dire ‘Straights’
Predictably, the fringe loons gagging for eight inches of stiff virtue signalling have been clambering for Sarina Wiegman to be paid the same as Gareth Southgate. I actually agree with this. They both deserve expenses only. Hardly a full-time job is it? All the coaching and tactics gets done back at the Premiership clubs. It’s…
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Ill Bread
I stumbled into Subway today, and after I had ordered two footling subs, the counter droid queried whether I wanted anything else with my sandwiches. I was momentarily stunned, as I hadn’t ordered any sandwiches. Then it thunderbolted home: another cockwomble retailer within their own warped virtual reality bubble was dicking around with the English…
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Lez Just Forget It
The women’s football ‘world cup’ is about to get underway, and I for one will be glued to my TV set. ITV4 are re-running The Sweeney, Minder, and The Professionals. The Dallas under-15s boys team must be a trifle gutted that the football equal pay row looks to be bearing fruit. Who’s fighting their corner…
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Huw Cares?
Well, that was a shocker – huw knew? My dough had been on that bonkers little tranny child who had appeared on Antiques Roadshow, but he was quickly ruled out. He’s been in an induced coma for several weeks, which given the current trajectory of current affairs seems a sound strategy. Today in court, it…
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Tittle-Tattle
Hats off to the BBC for their sausage-fingered handling of the BBC perv scandal. The Sun broke a story, and the Beeb announced it had suspended a male presenter, thereby creating a gossip vacuum and the need for countless employees to issue strenuous denials. They then referred it to the police, only for the supposed…
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Fighting the Good Fight…
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