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Ill Bread
I stumbled into Subway today, and after I had ordered two footling subs, the counter droid queried whether I wanted anything else with my sandwiches. I was momentarily stunned, as I hadn’t ordered any sandwiches. Then it thunderbolted home: another cockwomble retailer within their own warped virtual reality bubble was dicking around with the English…
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Lez Just Forget It
The women’s football ‘world cup’ is about to get underway, and I for one will be glued to my TV set. ITV4 are re-running The Sweeney, Minder, and The Professionals. The Dallas under-15s boys team must be a trifle gutted that the football equal pay row looks to be bearing fruit. Who’s fighting their corner…
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Huw Cares?
Well, that was a shocker – huw knew? My dough had been on that bonkers little tranny child who had appeared on Antiques Roadshow, but he was quickly ruled out. He’s been in an induced coma for several weeks, which given the current trajectory of current affairs seems a sound strategy. Today in court, it…
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Tittle-Tattle
Hats off to the BBC for their sausage-fingered handling of the BBC perv scandal. The Sun broke a story, and the Beeb announced it had suspended a male presenter, thereby creating a gossip vacuum and the need for countless employees to issue strenuous denials. They then referred it to the police, only for the supposed…
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Drama!
News from Moscow suggests that the Wagner Group is attempting a coup. This has been denied, but Wagner undoubtedly revolutionised opera via his Gesamtkunstwerk, in which he looked to synthesise art forms (music, poetry, visual art, and drama). Drama was, surprisingly for a music buff, the dominant dimension. Isn’t it always? This ‘total work of…
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Doing a Runner
It took a while, but the country has come to its senses. Johnson has been canned. Or rather, a select committee tee-ed him up, and he fell on his (pork) sword. Like Phillip Schofield, whom we have not seen for a few days, Phat Phuck has done a runner. As fagged-out Phil poignantly asked, ‘How…
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Not Yewtree Again
Now then, now then. Rolf Harris has shuffled off this mortal coil, and it is rumoured that the funeral is to be televised with the event being presented by Phillip Schofield in a new version of ‘This Mourning’. It turns out that he actually Jake the Pegged it nearly two weeks ago, and the funeral…
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The Sniff Test
Ever wondered why politics seems so baffling? It’s because very little nowadays follows any predictable or logical course. This week, Rishi Sunak opined that Vlodosmear Zelensky ought to have given an address at the Eurovision Song Contest. Next, they’ll be haggling for Les Dennis to rock up at the United Nations. They say that every…
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Diane Breath
I’m no Diane Abbott acolyte – after all, the daft old bint blocked me on Twitter an age ago for mocking her abysmal arithmetic. So what if she has made a bad point, or if she defines ‘racism’ a little differently to others? Isn’t that what politics is all about? She’s just saying that those…
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Snookered
I’m old enough to remember when Keir Starmer and the new-old-New Labour acolytes whipped themselves into group hysteria at Boris Johnson’s claim that their boss had failed to prosecute Jimmy Savile. He was only the Director of Public Prosecutions after all – but, as he said, he had no direct responsibility for the case. We…
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Fighting the Good Fight…
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