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Tap-In
Another day, another Team England loss, and two hours of my life was gone forever. Sometimes I think I’ll never learn. Cue the rearguard. The shambolic shitshow shoo-in was predictably re-imagined by the client press as an inevitable defeat in the wake of the new Brazilian wonderkid. The ‘new Romario’, no less. Nothing Gareth could…
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Bang, Bang
I was discussing the classic Beatles album, Abbey Road, with an acquaintance and was asked what I thought about the song ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’. AT THIS POINT, DO NOT BOTHER READING FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE A BEATLES AFICIONADO For various reasons, the song garners opprobrium, allegedly even from several of the band members. Hey, the…
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Alter Ego
While the world seemingly rattles to hell in a handcart, Fleet Street is losing its collective tagnut croquembouche over an edited photo. It’s difficult to know where to begin with this shizzle, so let’s go straight to the bottom and head further south still. The princess tweaked a picture to improve it. That’s it. She…
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Bully Beef Curtains
Apparently, a guy called Navalny has died in a Russian prison. He might have choked on a Chicken McNugget while fooling about on his Playstation, for all we know. Meanwhile, at the time of writing, attacks on Gaza have killed at least 28,775 Palestinians and wounded 68,552 since October 7 2023. What with all this Eurocentric media…
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A F- Con
Deary me – the Afcon tournament is hardly a more appetising spectacle than the Women’s ‘World Cup’, which itself registered an 11/10 on the toss-o-meter. I’d rather plunge my unprotected fingers into Mary Earps’ Instagram page than allow any more of the light from that sub-Saharan sportsqueef to enter my retinal photoreceptors. There’s certainly not…
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Not Good for the Gander
Another day, another fuck to add to the cluster. Kemi Badenoch – remember her? The hapless grunt in the crowd who fortuitously caught the baseball of opportunity and accordingly concluded she was a major league player. Yes, she actually believes she might end up as the PM. Mind you, considering the shitpipes who did snag…
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Not Fit to Iron the Shirt
Former footballer and manager Joey Barton has ruffled a few feather boas in recent weeks by stating some of the least controversial comments imaginable. He has said that the current locust swarm of female pundits are crap. That’s not even an opinion. It’s a fact. Claiming that their presence on screen in the context of…
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Twearps
Hold my Prosecco while I have a whinge. For the second year in a row, the public has voted a woman footballer the ‘Sports Personality of the Year’. Their game, their rules. Good luck to all the women making money from football. I say the same about proper players making zillions from Premier League merchandising.…
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Remington Steal
I was thinking this week about King Camp Gillette, erstwhile razor mogul. He’s often credited with inventing – and certainly warmly embracing – the business model that sees organisations ‘give away’ a product and then continually charge for essential accessories that are locked into the giveaway. In his case, it was a razor, but the…
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Scobie Don’t!
Hallelujah! T’is the season of gaslighting! Spunk sponge Omid Scobie has been probing the shallow waters of incredulity in suggesting that a mistranslation of his book led to the unmasking of the ‘royal racist’. Around the globe, translators are flummoxed because they’ve spent a lifetime translating verbs, nouns, adjectives, and other units of language that…
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Fighting the Good Fight…
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