Tag: FIFA
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Platform Shoo-Ins
There’s been a push to no-platform Tommy Robinson from the Oxford Union. And USA women’s coach, Emma Hayes, has been in the populist crosshairs for her excruciating World Cup analysis. What’s the connection? Let’s speak on it. Firstly, let me be clear: Hayes is in no way an advocate for far-right politics. So, now that’s…
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FIFA Ranking
The latest edition of the FIFA World Cup is underway, and it already has the makings of a crass omnishambles. The Mexico-South Africa opener was refereed by some posturing goon, who was darting around, spaz-carding, like someone had marinated his love eggs in Chakalaka. The defender, Sithole, so christened after his parents had conceived him…
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Hell FC
A barely scraped fifth place, and some mechanical Playstation football to boot was enough to convince Liverpool bosses not to pop another shilling into the Slot machine. In doing so, they defenestrated the Dutch dud, who had laboriously removed the hubcaps from the cuckooed Kloppian climax of the previous campaign, and delivered a hearty slap…
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A F- Con
Deary me – the Afcon tournament is hardly a more appetising spectacle than the Women’s ‘World Cup’, which itself registered an 11/10 on the toss-o-meter. I’d rather plunge my unprotected fingers into Mary Earps’ Instagram page than allow any more of the light from that sub-Saharan sportsqueef to enter my retinal photoreceptors. There’s certainly not…
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Flakermaker
Following their ‘world cup’ victory, triumphant Spaniolo player Jenni Hermoso hugged her FA President Luis Rubiales, lifted him legs akimbo aloft while the hapless prez reciprocally offered a lips-on kiss to the hopeless lez. Big deal. Apparently, a veritable shitstorm has now engulfed women’s football as he hadn’t filed a notarised consent document prior to…
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Here We Go, Here We Go, Here We Go…(Again)
No sooner had Lionel Messi hoisted the World Cup aloft, Gareth Southgate had indirectly confirmed that it would be another four years before England had the faintest hope of collecting a major gong. It all rather summed up where not just football is but where we all are in general. Messi, arguably the greatest player…
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Messy
Once again, Croatia have advanced in a major tournament while Brazil have shafted themselves with their own indomitable sense of entitlement. In 1990, England had lamented 24 years of hurt, which in terms of absent World Cup glory is exactly where Brazil are right now. Mind you, they have a back catalogue of five trophies…
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Harm Banned
Last week, the boss of the English FA gave an interview about the One Love captain’s armband and confirmed that Harry Kane would wear it regardless. ‘I think there’s a possibility that we might be fined. And if we are, then we’ll pay the fine. We think it’s really important to show our values. And…
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Pro Test
After yesterday’s match against Fulham, Paul Pogba and Amad Diallo unfurled a Palestinian flag and paraded it around Old Trafford. I thought political statements were banned in football? So sensitive about this were FIFA that the home nations were once punished for displaying a remembrance poppy, which is arguably not a political symbol at all.…
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Closed Shops
Well, that didn’t last long. The European Super League has received the red card, but that will likely not be the end of it. For now, the Big Six can return to the Premier League where they can revert to sucking up cash, buying in the best players, and operating without fear of relegation. One…
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