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Milking and Bilking
The candlelit vigils are underway in Plymouth, and the collection buckets have been a-rattling. The political and activist rinsing is also in full swing. It’s the post-tragedy UK we know and love. Now that the Plymouth trigger man has been linked to so-called incel philosophy — that’s millennial code for geezers who can’t get a…
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Hip Shooters
It wasn’t just that Captain Caveman geezer who’s been shooting from the hip this week. After the Plymouth pee-ow—pee-ow—pee-ow, every Facebook fruitloop crawled out from under their personal stone to have their tuppence worth. Firstly, mental health came under the microscope, but to be fair we weren’t looking at in-depth analysis here. Yes, the shooter…
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Long Face
As if the Olympics could not get more farcical, the German pentathlon coach has been kicked out of the games for releasing some pent-up frustration and punching a horse. This all came to pass after a rider was reduced to tears when, leading the event, the beast refused to either trot or jump. As they say,…
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Winning Without Winning
‘The GOAT got it done’, trumpeted Team USA’s Twitter account after Simone Biles snagged a bronze in the high beam competition. Quite what ‘it’ was, nobody was precisely sure unless it was a reference to a masterclass in underpromising and overdelivering. Even in the murky world of low-rent office life, that sort of sandbagging caper…
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Flagellation
It’s been quite a week for flag-waving in the UK and beyond. Post-Brexit, flag-shagging has been a favoured allegation tossed over the fence at anybody obtrusively displaying a Union Flag, paradoxically by those vigorously spraying the EU counterpart. Subtly, those wishing to avoid banner hypocrisy adorn their social media profiles with blue hearts, but we…
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Mat Gloss
I hadn’t realised that the Olympic Games was on, because it has all been somewhat low-key. Don’t worry if you too hadn’t noticed – it’s so far been excruciating but very 21st century, and that’s not just the skateboarding and BMXing. Russia has been banned, so all the Russians who haven’t been caught chewing horse…
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Ping Pong
You’d have to have a heart stone not to laugh like a drain. The Government set up a track-and-trace app, but there’s a growing concern that too many people are being pinged and are self-isolating. It’s the pingdemic. Let’s just recap: the Government put a system in place and asked the public to use it.…
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Crazy Paving
Without making any comment on the merits of Brexit, it is mesmerising that an advisory referendum reflected an inexorable path, whereas a treaty bound in international law represents a starting point for ongoing negotiation. We seem to be lacking one clear reference point to anchor our logic. It’s a double-jabbed post-fact existence that makes anything…
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Trite Said Fred
I was never a committed cheerleader of the lockdowns, but even less supportive of the fact that the decisions to enter them and then exit them have continually been based on bonkers logic. We’re now shelving 100% of restrictions after 69% of the adult population has been vaccinated. You don’t need to be a numbers…
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Penalty Points
Once again, racist abuse and the Government’s response to it have made the headlines. The three England players who botched their spot-kicks bore the brunt of racist abuse in the aftermath, and the great and good reached for their telescopes so that they might have a clearer view of the scene by peering into the…
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Fighting the Good Fight…
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