I was discussing the classic Beatles album, Abbey Road, with an acquaintance and was asked what I thought about the song ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer’.

AT THIS POINT, DO NOT BOTHER READING FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE A BEATLES AFICIONADO 

For various reasons, the song garners opprobrium, allegedly even from several of the band members.

Hey, the style reflects the Beatles broad repertoire and probably as a song slots into the ‘love it or hate it’ category.

For me, the music’s fine – it’s the lyrical content that disturbs me.

Everything ticks over fine until the third verse. That’s when the problems float to the top of the bowl.

Let’s project ourselves onto the scene.

Realising that they’d ‘caught a dirty one’, it’s a veritable puzzler that PC 31 allowed Maxwell to just stand there painting testimonial pictures. I would have expected the officers to have restrained him in handcuffs and possibly even have pinioned his legs.

Possible even given the slag a good kicking.

This slipshod approach appears to have continued up to the court case itself when Maxwell appears to still be in possession of his silver hammer. It is difficult to grasp why this had not long since been confiscated and securely entered into evidence.

But the song title isn’t ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammers’, so we have to assume that just one tool is in play.

Allegedly.

The final query relates to the shoddy courtroom security. As the judge expressed disagreement with the thoughts of Joan and Valerie, Maxwell appears to have exited the dock unnoticed and was able to sneak up behind the judge and bosh him.

I know – perhaps Group 4 were on duty?

Not in 1969, buddy.

All in all, a shocking indictment of 1960s policing and course security in the UK.

But as for the song? An essential component in a seminal album.

But, come on, Paul – that’s stretching it…