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Them Apples
Slur Keith Starmer is now determined to treat people smugglers on a par with terrorists. Bravo. I’m not sure whether that means he’s going to be launching missiles onto the channel dinghies or putting ISIS warlords up in taxpayer-funded, plush hotel accommodation in Kent. Don’t expect Inaction Man to provide any clarification soon. Amazingly, Donkey…
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Flakermaker
Following their ‘world cup’ victory, triumphant Spaniolo player Jenni Hermoso hugged her FA President Luis Rubiales, lifted him legs akimbo aloft while the hapless prez reciprocally offered a lips-on kiss to the hopeless lez. Big deal. Apparently, a veritable shitstorm has now engulfed women’s football as he hadn’t filed a notarised consent document prior to…
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Beyond Parody
They think it’s all over – it is now. England’s women’s ‘football’ players have been traumatised by their first dicking. Sorry, their first dicking in a ‘world cup’ final. I never actually tuned into the farce itself – I’d had one of those moments during the night when I had awoken and wondered whether the…
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Dire ‘Straights’
Predictably, the fringe loons gagging for eight inches of stiff virtue signalling have been clambering for Sarina Wiegman to be paid the same as Gareth Southgate. I actually agree with this. They both deserve expenses only. Hardly a full-time job is it? All the coaching and tactics gets done back at the Premiership clubs. It’s…
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Ill Bread
I stumbled into Subway today, and after I had ordered two footling subs, the counter droid queried whether I wanted anything else with my sandwiches. I was momentarily stunned, as I hadn’t ordered any sandwiches. Then it thunderbolted home: another cockwomble retailer within their own warped virtual reality bubble was dicking around with the English…
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Lez Just Forget It
The women’s football ‘world cup’ is about to get underway, and I for one will be glued to my TV set. ITV4 are re-running The Sweeney, Minder, and The Professionals. The Dallas under-15s boys team must be a trifle gutted that the football equal pay row looks to be bearing fruit. Who’s fighting their corner…
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Huw Cares?
Well, that was a shocker – huw knew? My dough had been on that bonkers little tranny child who had appeared on Antiques Roadshow, but he was quickly ruled out. He’s been in an induced coma for several weeks, which given the current trajectory of current affairs seems a sound strategy. Today in court, it…
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Tittle-Tattle
Hats off to the BBC for their sausage-fingered handling of the BBC perv scandal. The Sun broke a story, and the Beeb announced it had suspended a male presenter, thereby creating a gossip vacuum and the need for countless employees to issue strenuous denials. They then referred it to the police, only for the supposed…
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Drama!
News from Moscow suggests that the Wagner Group is attempting a coup. This has been denied, but Wagner undoubtedly revolutionised opera via his Gesamtkunstwerk, in which he looked to synthesise art forms (music, poetry, visual art, and drama). Drama was, surprisingly for a music buff, the dominant dimension. Isn’t it always? This ‘total work of…
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Doing a Runner
It took a while, but the country has come to its senses. Johnson has been canned. Or rather, a select committee tee-ed him up, and he fell on his (pork) sword. Like Phillip Schofield, whom we have not seen for a few days, Phat Phuck has done a runner. As fagged-out Phil poignantly asked, ‘How…
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Fighting the Good Fight…
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