Tag: Sex
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Lab Report
Barf-inducing news this week from Wales, as an inquest learnt how a drag queen had his ticket punched and ended up brown bread under a covering of flattened cardboard boxes. Stay classy. CCTV had seen the lubed-up gender-bender on something of a transmission, quelle surprise, repeatedly darting into alleys to duel with various salubrious pork…
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Pope Music
RIP Pope Francis – bad timing, though. If he’d had his ticket punched three days earlier, he might still be with us. He’ll be remembered most for his personal crusade to save the poor, but I’m having nun of it. That was always a bit rich from the steward of the largest art and antiques…
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Sure Thing, Muskie!
The issue with any debate about grooming – or to be precise – rape gangs is that everyone focuses on a profile of the perpetrators. Particularly when it suits their agenda. Talk about looking down the wrong end of the telescope. A fact about crime, and this applies as equally to perving as it does…
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I Love BBC
Another day, another #meetoo feeding frenzy. Gregg Wallace was only partly right in his assessment of those addicted to the blame-gravy train. They happen to come in all shapes, sizes, ages, and backgrounds, but they all have one common characteristic: they are addicted to being the centre of attention. #memememetoo It’s always about them. But many…
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Fingered
The least surprising bumshell of the week has been that a gazillionaire has been outed as a handsy turd who abused his position to exploit others. Who’d have thunk it? Those who should be on trial now are the gang slithering out of the woodwork to tell us that they knew about it all along.…
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Flaccid Jenas
Well, that was a spunky twenty-four hours for Jermaine Jenas. He’s pirouetted from a pugilistic ‘I can tell you I’m not happy – there are two sides to every story – and I’m going to be speaking with my lawyers on the issue’ to a pusillanimous ‘I am ashamed, and I am deeply sorry’. He…
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Abracadabbler
Hey presto! Magician David Copperfield has been stiffed with allegations of decades-long ‘Rolfharrisment’ by a string of now forty-something ex-teenagers whose memories are arguably as robust as the collapsed heels on their counterfeit Ugg boots. Yes, it’s one of those historical Yewtree-mendous investigations that will possibly soon have coppers beating down the door of Coppers.…
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Not Yewtree Again
Now then, now then. Rolf Harris has shuffled off this mortal coil, and it is rumoured that the funeral is to be televised with the event being presented by Phillip Schofield in a new version of ‘This Mourning’. It turns out that he actually Jake the Pegged it nearly two weeks ago, and the funeral…
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Crisp Incher
A few months ago, Custard Bag overhauled the team in The Cabinet Office in order to design out habitual gaffing, and an integral part of the incoming administrative A-team was Chris Pincher. That didn’t age well. He’s now copped his P45 after having a couple of beers and groping a pair of hairly blokes, like…
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Hari-Kari
Ooer, Matron – somebody’s put sand in the motion lotion, and Ofcom have pulled out of Stonewall’s tight squeeze on the nation’s current subservience to LGBTadinfinitim+ However, what is happening within Stonewall is nothing new. Factions have pressed for a change in direction and focus on policy, which will inevitably have consequences. The broader the…
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