Author: Max Frances
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Ping Pong
You’d have to have a heart stone not to laugh like a drain. The Government set up a track-and-trace app, but there’s a growing concern that too many people are being pinged and are self-isolating. It’s the pingdemic. Let’s just recap: the Government put a system in place and asked the public to use it.…
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Crazy Paving
Without making any comment on the merits of Brexit, it is mesmerising that an advisory referendum reflected an inexorable path, whereas a treaty bound in international law represents a starting point for ongoing negotiation. We seem to be lacking one clear reference point to anchor our logic. It’s a double-jabbed post-fact existence that makes anything…
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Trite Said Fred
I was never a committed cheerleader of the lockdowns, but even less supportive of the fact that the decisions to enter them and then exit them have continually been based on bonkers logic. We’re now shelving 100% of restrictions after 69% of the adult population has been vaccinated. You don’t need to be a numbers…
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Penalty Points
Once again, racist abuse and the Government’s response to it have made the headlines. The three England players who botched their spot-kicks bore the brunt of racist abuse in the aftermath, and the great and good reached for their telescopes so that they might have a clearer view of the scene by peering into the…
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Jester Politics
So England never made the grade, but some sort of political row was as nailed on as Italian on-field cynicism. Seriously, though, the Azurri deserved their victory. Over and above the match itself, it was always going to be the case that a Three Lions debacle would see a fringe of racist nutters having a…
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Replica Shirks
Shell-shocked, I’ve been eating gargantuan wedges of humble pie after Gareth Southgate steered the Three Lions to their first major final in 55 years. Whatever the ultimate outcome, the team has, after a sluggish start, performed magnificently. Forget the tactical analysis, and that’s not just because, like most punters, I don’t really understand the technicalities.…
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Loose Cannons
Boris Johnson has announced the imminent removal of most COVID restrictions and asked the nation to ‘exercise its own judgement’. Given that the nation had elected him as Prime Minister, that may well be asking for trouble. All of this sparks the old Johnson-is-a-libertarian discourse into life, which once again pumps spunk into the some…
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Cop-Out
I paid a flying visit to Bristol yesterday and encountered a sit-in in the middle of the road at the bottom of Park Street. They had a banner reading, ‘Priti Shit’, which does deserve some recognition for a new twist on an old gag, and another which read, ‘this is a peaceful protest’. This tickled…
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Badly Spun
Wow – nobody was expecting that. Labour scraped through in Batley and Spen. Dry the tears from your eyes and cash out those online bets. Kim’s going to close the loop and take her seat under the memorial plaque for her tearful maiden speech. That’s a speech by a tearful maiden, by the way. At…
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Kimbaya
We’re approaching the home straight in Batley and Spen, and Slur Clear Stammer may well shortly be staring down the barrel of laughs of a leadership challenge. Given the shocking calibre of the Labour benches, it’s certainly not going to get out of slapstick gear, but that’s for another day. If Labour do get resoundingly…
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