Category: Business
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Cold Played
What a palaver at Astronomer – I would think that the handsy bossman is already seeing stars, courtesy of his chip-spitting missus. Mind you, I toiled in outsourced contact centres for 20 years or so, and I can’t remember a time when the CEO wasn’t banging the HR Director. Let’s face it, soaking up psycho…
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Remington Steal
I was thinking this week about King Camp Gillette, erstwhile razor mogul. He’s often credited with inventing – and certainly warmly embracing – the business model that sees organisations ‘give away’ a product and then continually charge for essential accessories that are locked into the giveaway. In his case, it was a razor, but the…
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Oil of Ole
If the continued presence of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in the Manchester United dugout is mystifying, you probably haven’t ever been too absorbed in the hell of UK office politics swirling around you. It’s a common phenomenon in business that people hire their buddies and would rather see poor results than allow somebody who’s not part…
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Shut Your Cakehole
It’s a funny old world. Droning, bleeding hearts are seeing their piss boiled by current issues with supply chains and highlighting these as a direct consequence of Brexit while also bemoaning the challenges faced by EU citizens currently domiciled in the UK. Two sets of inevitable consequences of Brexit – one for I-told-you-so gloating and…
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Ping Pong
You’d have to have a heart stone not to laugh like a drain. The Government set up a track-and-trace app, but there’s a growing concern that too many people are being pinged and are self-isolating. It’s the pingdemic. Let’s just recap: the Government put a system in place and asked the public to use it.…
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Dropped Ball
Oceans of tears this weekend at the prospect of a European Football Super League, and there we were, being led to believe that Euro-integration was the future? If it is invitation-only, risk-free showboating, this isn’t a competition as such – it’s marketing content. Think Federer and Nadal hotdogging and pinging up 20-shot lob rallies with…
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Motion Lotion
A year on, and commentators are seeking to assess Keir Starmer’s progress as the Labour Leader. Now, that’s a real toughie because he hasn’t really done anything. Try to imagine an Israeli opposition leader never managing to surpass level-pegging with Hitler, and you’ll probably be in the right ballpark. In its wildest dreams (which judging…
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Whale Being
Unless you are self-employed, you are likely part of a 21st century workforce and will almost certainly been struck by the wave of organisational well-being initiatives. Bosses are frantically setting up helplines, arranging gym discounts, and handing out snack-sized, sample nutty bars among the seemingly more level-headed of interventions. I’ve also witnessed aromatherapists, magicians, and…
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Virgin on the Ridiculous
While a plethora of UK businesses have merrily slashed customer service and unapologetically tossed the blame onto COVID, the irony of their switch-hitting is not lost on the casual observer. Resource and volume distribution challenges are nothing new. Back in the day, contact centre providers would largely differentiate themselves through their innovative use of technology…
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We Aren’t Family
I am no longer forcibly immersed in the excruciating workplace rituals of the modern office, so the occasional petal of pretentious word confetti is generally no truly onerous psychological burden. But the notion of the ‘work family‘ manifestly grinds my gears. It reeks of perverse potential. Matt Hancock just slipped in a reference to ‘our…
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