Category: Politics
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Badly Spun
Wow – nobody was expecting that. Labour scraped through in Batley and Spen. Dry the tears from your eyes and cash out those online bets. Kim’s going to close the loop and take her seat under the memorial plaque for her tearful maiden speech. That’s a speech by a tearful maiden, by the way. At…
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Kimbaya
We’re approaching the home straight in Batley and Spen, and Slur Clear Stammer may well shortly be staring down the barrel of laughs of a leadership challenge. Given the shocking calibre of the Labour benches, it’s certainly not going to get out of slapstick gear, but that’s for another day. If Labour do get resoundingly…
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Pump Goes the Weasel
Thanks to the Sun, we’ve finally discovered the reason for Matt Hancock’s permasmirk. Anybody who had touted the view that door Matt was losing his grip had clearly not clocked the telefoto snap of the slippery toad up to the hilt in some covert sidechickery or, as it’s now known, Hands – Face – Back…
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Batty and Spent
The imminent by-election in Batley and Spen might prove to be a watershed for Drear Harmer’s leadershit (not a typo), if it has not indeed already hit the (silly old) buffers. In terms of candidate selection, Labour can at least be praised for not having plucked a self-serving, fake social democrat droid from the political…
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Ho-De-Hopeless
This week, Diabolic Cummings released WhatsApp messages in which Boris Johnson had denounced Matt Hancock as ‘hopeless’. For his part, Hancock had then responded to a press question of, ‘are you hopeless?’ with a, ‘I don’t think so’. He didn’t sound too convinced either way. Poor old door matt – however, the way he’s survived…
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Horses and Stable Doors
Pro-EU acolytes are currently questioning why Brexit is no longer discussed by Brexiters. For the same reason that nobody is talking about Swine Flu: it’s over. The question is settled even if the fallout isn’t, so why hasn’t everybody moved onto the practical reality instead of replaying the pros and cons of the decision? Every…
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Knee Jerk
Reportedly, Gareth Southgate is to hold urgent talks with the England squad about taking the knee. In all truth, he’d be better off talking to them about taking the piss. That performance versus Austrian opposition would have had Neville Chamberlain’s paper fluttering in the wind. In elite football terms, we’re not waving but drowning. As…
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Brass Neck
President Biden has been banging on about George Floyd’s legacy and has invited the multi-millionaire Floyd clan to the White House for canapés and blather. Apparently, one of the members has snubbed the invitation because they are ‘not happy’ with the proposed policing bill. You couldn’t make it up. It’s like the Veruca Salt scene…
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Fact Off
Dominic Cummings has blown the lid off the transparent Tupperware container that is Government. Apparently, the COVID era was characterised by chaos and crap decision making. Tell us something that we don’t know. Tellingly, pundits are now self-servingly seizing on DC’s perspective. Government supporters who had previously lauded Dom as a genius have fallen back…
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Long Shot
In 1978, an episode of The Professionals concluded with an aeroplane carrying an international terrorist being diverted to a hostile Arab nation after one of the passengers had faked a coronary. We can hardly now take the moral high ground with Belarus, because this ruse was conceived by one of our own, George Cowley. It…
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