Tag: Boris
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Hiding in Plain Shite
A new day, a new perspective. This Scandalson debacle is the gift that keeps on re-gifting. Wherever the lairy Lord lingers, a new treat awaits. Titillating to bear witness to the hyperbolic outrage from Gordon Brown – who hired him after the first two scandals – presumably after his father’s moral compass had gone skew…
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Cleverly Done
I laughed so much, a little bit of wee came out. Stratospheric frontrunner James Cleverly lent votes for a carve-up and ended up rogered and out. Apparently, he was so blasé about a thumping victory, he frittered away the death throes of his candidacy at Boris Johnson’s book launch rather than canvassing on the final furlong…
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Not Good for the Gander
Another day, another fuck to add to the cluster. Kemi Badenoch – remember her? The hapless grunt in the crowd who fortuitously caught the baseball of opportunity and accordingly concluded she was a major league player. Yes, she actually believes she might end up as the PM. Mind you, considering the shitpipes who did snag…
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Doing a Runner
It took a while, but the country has come to its senses. Johnson has been canned. Or rather, a select committee tee-ed him up, and he fell on his (pork) sword. Like Phillip Schofield, whom we have not seen for a few days, Phat Phuck has done a runner. As fagged-out Phil poignantly asked, ‘How…
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Snookered
I’m old enough to remember when Keir Starmer and the new-old-New Labour acolytes whipped themselves into group hysteria at Boris Johnson’s claim that their boss had failed to prosecute Jimmy Savile. He was only the Director of Public Prosecutions after all – but, as he said, he had no direct responsibility for the case. We…
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Timewasters
So, England snagged a win on Italian turf for the first time since 1961. Along the way, both fullbacks were booked for timewasting, which made the crowd wonder whether Gareth Southgate was up for a lifetime achievement award. Meanwhile, the Commons Standards Committee did their utmost to stepover past Boris and ended up going full…
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Bad Actors
On the first anniversary of the war in the Ukraine, it’s worth reflecting on how much this squabble has warped perceptions and skewered objectivity. While reporting on Putin’s rally, a reporter from Sky News categorically stated that the Donbas region was part of the Ukraine and not Russia, which although a valid opinion is hardly…
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Here We Go, Here We Go, Here We Go…(Again)
No sooner had Lionel Messi hoisted the World Cup aloft, Gareth Southgate had indirectly confirmed that it would be another four years before England had the faintest hope of collecting a major gong. It all rather summed up where not just football is but where we all are in general. Messi, arguably the greatest player…
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Indian Giver
So, there we have it: Rishi Sunak is the new prime minister. He is not of course the UK’s first ethnic minority PM – that honour went to Disraeli who was top Jew before top dude. As for what the bijou berk might bring, he’s screams stability only via his personal low centre of gravity.…
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Truss Issues
Back in the day, to truss meant to tie up the wings and legs of (a chicken or other bird) before cooking. The prey got trussed before it got stuffed. And now, life imitates art, as they say. Therese Coffey, her of the Savile cigar and fist-screwed glass, is the new Health Secretary. I’ll wager…
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