Category: Sport
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Chat Shit, Get Banged
I remember when Mr Justice Peter Smith’s judgment on the Da Vinci Code case included some encrypted comments, which marked him out as something of a wag or a twat, depending on your perspective. That dilemma persists in the courts to this very day. What a shame that the judge in the Wagatha Christie case…
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Gueye Bashing
Spare a thought today for Idrissa Gueye, who is about to have his career curtailed by the thought Nazis for pulling back from the abyss of virtue-signalling hell and refusing to take one for the team. It’s been the most controversial LGBT issue in sport since the Green Bay Packers relocated from the town of…
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The Great Pretenders
Forget inflation, recession, and COVID. The greatest threat to progress is our susceptibility to the charms of the Great Pretender. And there’s an emphasis on the word ‘pretend’. Earlier this year, Keir Starmer called out Johnson and pushed for his resignation simply because the latter was under police investigation. This was a prime minister in…
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Going With the Flow
Novak Djokovic has just been nicked, which should make for a fascinating episode of Border Security: Australia’s Front Line in due course. He’s off to the relative comfort of a ‘detention hotel’ along with various miscreants with their undeclared apples, bags of fish guts, and dried cat penises. If he does appeal it, we’re all going to…
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Oil of Ole
If the continued presence of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in the Manchester United dugout is mystifying, you probably haven’t ever been too absorbed in the hell of UK office politics swirling around you. It’s a common phenomenon in business that people hire their buddies and would rather see poor results than allow somebody who’s not part…
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Radical, New Triumph
These are challenging times for Guy Verhofstwat and all the rabid, butthurt EU fruitcakes after Emma Raducanu’s US Open win. They’re all stuck between the rock of wanting to claim 50% of the title in the EU’s name and the hard place of their hatred for the China and the UK. Momma said there would…
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Long Face
As if the Olympics could not get more farcical, the German pentathlon coach has been kicked out of the games for releasing some pent-up frustration and punching a horse. This all came to pass after a rider was reduced to tears when, leading the event, the beast refused to either trot or jump. As they say,…
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Winning Without Winning
‘The GOAT got it done’, trumpeted Team USA’s Twitter account after Simone Biles snagged a bronze in the high beam competition. Quite what ‘it’ was, nobody was precisely sure unless it was a reference to a masterclass in underpromising and overdelivering. Even in the murky world of low-rent office life, that sort of sandbagging caper…
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Flagellation
It’s been quite a week for flag-waving in the UK and beyond. Post-Brexit, flag-shagging has been a favoured allegation tossed over the fence at anybody obtrusively displaying a Union Flag, paradoxically by those vigorously spraying the EU counterpart. Subtly, those wishing to avoid banner hypocrisy adorn their social media profiles with blue hearts, but we…
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Mat Gloss
I hadn’t realised that the Olympic Games was on, because it has all been somewhat low-key. Don’t worry if you too hadn’t noticed – it’s so far been excruciating but very 21st century, and that’s not just the skateboarding and BMXing. Russia has been banned, so all the Russians who haven’t been caught chewing horse…
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