Tag: Charlatans
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Kimbaya
We’re approaching the home straight in Batley and Spen, and Slur Clear Stammer may well shortly be staring down the barrel of laughs of a leadership challenge. Given the shocking calibre of the Labour benches, it’s certainly not going to get out of slapstick gear, but that’s for another day. If Labour do get resoundingly…
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Pump Goes the Weasel
Thanks to the Sun, we’ve finally discovered the reason for Matt Hancock’s permasmirk. Anybody who had touted the view that door Matt was losing his grip had clearly not clocked the telefoto snap of the slippery toad up to the hilt in some covert sidechickery or, as it’s now known, Hands – Face – Back…
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Batty and Spent
The imminent by-election in Batley and Spen might prove to be a watershed for Drear Harmer’s leadershit (not a typo), if it has not indeed already hit the (silly old) buffers. In terms of candidate selection, Labour can at least be praised for not having plucked a self-serving, fake social democrat droid from the political…
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Ho-De-Hopeless
This week, Diabolic Cummings released WhatsApp messages in which Boris Johnson had denounced Matt Hancock as ‘hopeless’. For his part, Hancock had then responded to a press question of, ‘are you hopeless?’ with a, ‘I don’t think so’. He didn’t sound too convinced either way. Poor old door matt – however, the way he’s survived…
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Skimmed Bilk
I was recently taken aback by the prevalence of round-ups for charity when making electronic payments. Just last week, it happened three times in one morning on the High Street, and even sneaky old online retailers are slipping it into their payment processes. It works like this: if your purchases cost £7.84, the screen asks…
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Heart Failure
When Christian Eriksen hit the deck during the Denmark-Finland match, it was a horrible moment. But it was not just the player collapsing, it was also the integrity of much of the viewing public who sprang into life on social media. Yes, while the poor chap lay prostrate on the pitch and in the sick…
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Porto Ball Bug
It’s the UEFA Champions’ league final today – an all-English affair, which is taking place in Porto. Fewer than three weeks ago, it had been decided to switch the event from Istanbul because Turkey is on the UK’s travel ‘red list’. So, let me get this straight. In the midst of a pandemic when this…
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Ropey Handle
Oh dear. The way things are going, some sizeable chunks of that Chinese rocket are likely to rain down on Keith’s gas guzzler. As matters stand, you could probably cut through the atmosphere at Labour HQ with a knife, let alone giant shards of Beijing tin can. And this time, there’s no convenient Corbed ball…
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Never Knowingly Undertrolled
So Keith went out for a leisurely afternoon troll, pondering wallpaper in John Lewis to rustle up a photo op of sorts for the craven lefty press. Hilarious, Sir Drear. I was just surprised he hadn’t spent 3 hours poring over the plain magnolia before walking out empty-handed. At a time when it should be…
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Confirmation by Arse
So, the Downing Street interior decoration bill appears to have rattled some cages. Not sure why, because it’s not as if Johnson has pocketed the cash. He can’t take it all with him once he’s gone. At worst, he’s frittered some dough, but you would have thought that he’d have just done it himself, given…
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