Tag: Conservatives
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Truss Issues
Back in the day, to truss meant to tie up the wings and legs of (a chicken or other bird) before cooking. The prey got trussed before it got stuffed. And now, life imitates art, as they say. Therese Coffey, her of the Savile cigar and fist-screwed glass, is the new Health Secretary. I’ll wager…
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The Race to the Bottom
And so the candidate debate came and went. If you are happy to commit to any one of these woeful cretins, you’re a braver man than I. I couldn’t imagine anything more daunting. Were all heading for a bad knock in the very near future, made worse by the little trust in our politics. Soon…
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Clownfall
So there you have it. The downfall of the clown whose actions took down three prime ministers: David Cameron, Theresa May, and himself. Slur Beer Korma’s speechwriter had a great daon Wednesday with the ‘sinking ship’ and ‘lightweight brigade’ quips – shame that he or she is not the leader of the opposition. Never forget…
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Crisp Incher
A few months ago, Custard Bag overhauled the team in The Cabinet Office in order to design out habitual gaffing, and an integral part of the incoming administrative A-team was Chris Pincher. That didn’t age well. He’s now copped his P45 after having a couple of beers and groping a pair of hairly blokes, like…
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The Best Lines
At last we had sight of the Sue Gray report, for all the progress that meant. Starmer delivered a withering speech, which was well-composed, accurate, and powerful. What a shame his speechwriter isn’t gunning for the top job. At the moment, the Labour front bench is undoubtedly getting all the best lines (guffaw), but none…
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Testy Times
So after nearly two years of mayhem, we’re back to where we started. Yes, we do have a vaccine, but it is one that works only by limiting serious illness in the most vulnerable after three jabs. It’s fascinating how the vaccine narrative has shifted from the heady euphoria of the first jab to the…
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All the Sheeple
Well, it had to come sooner or later – the politicisation of mask-wearing. After all, the opposition are certainly no good at real politics. If they were even just below average, we would have seen some serious damage inflicted on the worst government in living memory. The great mask divide does not however reflect so…
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Stella Heights
Keith’s excruciating week has not got any better – he tried to sack Angela Rayner and ended up giving her three new jobs. Of course, he was lambasted for bombing out a working-class woman, but his critics failed to acknowledge that these were precisely the characteristics that had propelled her to such stellar heights in…
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Ropey Handle
Oh dear. The way things are going, some sizeable chunks of that Chinese rocket are likely to rain down on Keith’s gas guzzler. As matters stand, you could probably cut through the atmosphere at Labour HQ with a knife, let alone giant shards of Beijing tin can. And this time, there’s no convenient Corbed ball…
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Cardboard Box
I truly felt for Keir Starmer out there yesterday attempting a few punches at the large bag. I’m surprised only that one of the onlookers did not throw in the towel right there and then. It all evoked memories of Bill Gates on stage throwing some shapes at the Windows 95 launch. As he tossed…
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