Category: Sport
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Harm Banned

Last week, the boss of the English FA gave an interview about the One Love captain’s armband and confirmed that Harry Kane would wear it regardless. ‘I think there’s a possibility that we might be fined. And if we are, then we’ll pay the fine. We think it’s really important to show our values. And…
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Lez We Forget

Another day, another bandwagon. And so the Women’s Euros came to pass. If people want to celebrate a gang of lesbians playing in slow-mo to the standard of a very average regional non-league team, that’s fine. But let’s not confuse it with sporting excellence. Just for context, in 2017 the US team played a match…
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Going With the Flow

Novak Djokovic has just been nicked, which should make for a fascinating episode of Border Security: Australia’s Front Line in due course. He’s off to the relative comfort of a ‘detention hotel’ along with various miscreants with their undeclared apples, bags of fish guts, and dried cat penises. If he does appeal it, we’re all going to…
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Long Face

As if the Olympics could not get more farcical, the German pentathlon coach has been kicked out of the games for releasing some pent-up frustration and punching a horse. This all came to pass after a rider was reduced to tears when, leading the event, the beast refused to either trot or jump. As they say,…
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Winning Without Winning

‘The GOAT got it done’, trumpeted Team USA’s Twitter account after Simone Biles snagged a bronze in the high beam competition. Quite what ‘it’ was, nobody was precisely sure unless it was a reference to a masterclass in underpromising and overdelivering. Even in the murky world of low-rent office life, that sort of sandbagging caper…





