Tag: Boris
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The Race to the Bottom
And so the candidate debate came and went. If you are happy to commit to any one of these woeful cretins, you’re a braver man than I. I couldn’t imagine anything more daunting. Were all heading for a bad knock in the very near future, made worse by the little trust in our politics. Soon…
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Clownfall
So there you have it. The downfall of the clown whose actions took down three prime ministers: David Cameron, Theresa May, and himself. Slur Beer Korma’s speechwriter had a great daon Wednesday with the ‘sinking ship’ and ‘lightweight brigade’ quips – shame that he or she is not the leader of the opposition. Never forget…
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Crisp Incher
A few months ago, Custard Bag overhauled the team in The Cabinet Office in order to design out habitual gaffing, and an integral part of the incoming administrative A-team was Chris Pincher. That didn’t age well. He’s now copped his P45 after having a couple of beers and groping a pair of hairly blokes, like…
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Plane Sailing
The stragegy of accusing the Government of ‘people trafficking’ themselves is straight out of the Nazi ‘Big Lie’ playbook. It’s a belter so humongous that no one would believe that someone could have had the impudence to distort the truth so infamously. And it’s doubtless a fresh incarnation of the old standby of A accusing…
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The Great Pretenders
Forget inflation, recession, and COVID. The greatest threat to progress is our susceptibility to the charms of the Great Pretender. And there’s an emphasis on the word ‘pretend’. Earlier this year, Keir Starmer called out Johnson and pushed for his resignation simply because the latter was under police investigation. This was a prime minister in…
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Fine By Us
Not sure what the furore is about the fixed-penalty notices handed out to the faker and the fakir. Surely there had long since been a shedload of evidence for this cabal’s defenestration before some thick-as-mince plod went down the FPN route for attendance at some office drinkies? Imagine everybody going mental if Hitler had picked…
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Casino
With Mr Putin recognising the republics of Donetsk and Luhansk, every limp foghorn in the crass commentariat has been quick to point to the ‘Kremlin playbook’, as if they’re diplomatic svengalis. Yet, in truth this kind of land-grab is a favoured standby for every regime with a penchant for expansionism. Hitler did it in the…
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The Best Lines
At last we had sight of the Sue Gray report, for all the progress that meant. Starmer delivered a withering speech, which was well-composed, accurate, and powerful. What a shame his speechwriter isn’t gunning for the top job. At the moment, the Labour front bench is undoubtedly getting all the best lines (guffaw), but none…
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Shambollocks
As a nation, we all still appear to be in perpetual shock that in voting for Boris Johnson, we ended up getting Boris Johnson. He is clearly the toast of the Conservative Party, of course in the crispy, charred sense. For a loquacious smith of words, his non-apology was as transparent as Fishy Rishi’s 200-mile-away…
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Going With the Flow
Novak Djokovic has just been nicked, which should make for a fascinating episode of Border Security: Australia’s Front Line in due course. He’s off to the relative comfort of a ‘detention hotel’ along with various miscreants with their undeclared apples, bags of fish guts, and dried cat penises. If he does appeal it, we’re all going to…
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